 I'm still trying to finish a piece I started for Masturbation Monday a few weeks ago. It's not that it's Camp Nano or Nanowrimo; I'm struggling to write. A meme going around had me thinking- about gay people taking off all the rainbow/Pride stuff on the way to their car to keep from being jumped. I'm struggling to write because I feel unsafe within my own home. Nothing like domestic violence, but I'm constantly interrupted no matter what I'm trying to do. Writing has become a thing I do best outside the house; today's writing beside this was at church and I managed 537 between longhand and typing it up.
All this leads me to thinking- how does one even masturbate when you're feeling unsafe? All jokes about teen experimentation aside, I struggle with this. I don't know; I'm thinking after I finish this that I'll close the bedroom door, grab a book and some lube, and rub off a few. Sure, I got to come a bunch with my Master, when he used his fingers on me before fucking my cunt, but we don't have a rule where I can't masturbate and come without his permission. I'm thinking again on polyamory. I've been a schmuck to my girlfriend; it's been way too long since I've done anything with her. There are so many different ways that mutual masturbation can work out. But when I read through post after post of seemingly cisgender, heterosexual man and woman doing something, I wonder where my queer self belongs. But you know, I'm writing in 1st person, present tense; how much does my queerness really bleed through the pages.
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 First I'm going to share with you all something I tweeted: “#AmWriting #transgender #TransMan #MasturbationMonday Sigh, I keep finding any reason I can to not finish this piece. @KaylaLords can you recommend I should be done so you can read it next week? LOL”
Working with Pekka, my transgender man who has had some gender confirming surgeries, I struggled to figure out the point of this scene. Inspired by JerBear's picture in week 236, I finally pushed through to what I found was a good ending late on Monday the 15th. Too much life happening, too much stress. But this is good. I even want to share it with my therapist. -- Pekka rubbed the cocoa butter over the still healing area of his thigh where the surgeon had taken the skin graft for his phalloplasty. No more stitches, just tender skin. He squeezed more lotion over his thigh. Some trickled between his legs. His palm slipped over his scrotum, that part of his body he worked to feel a part of him. His skin against skin felt good. He worked the pump within, made to feel as testicles. “My Lady wanted me to grow used to this on my own,” he reminded himself aloud. After a few tentative pumps, he grew more comfortable. Once his neo-phallus stood erect, he squeezed more lotion onto his hand. He palmed his cock. Sucking in a breath, he focused on the sensations from his palm and phallus. “This is me. All of me, even the surgical creations are still me.” His other hand moved to his chest, finger slipping over his nipples one at a time. He looked out his window in a small area between his scarlet drapes. He left off caressing his nipples to touch the puckered skin from his top surgery. “I have become more me, but what does that mean?” He coughed. “I feel as I want to, inside and outside.” He cleared his mind before he continued his exploratory caresses. The sandalwood incense wafted over him. He left off touching his chest to wrap that hand around the base of his cock. With soft, even breaths, he relaxed into pleasant sensations. He groaned as a clitoral-like orgasm burst within him. “No limits, my Lady says.” His hand traveled up to the tip of his neo-phallus, his lips pulling upward into a smile at his cock lacking the slicing that would have made him look circumcised, unlike his beautiful domme. He grasped the base of his cock with both hands. His mouth caught in a wide circle as his hands suddenly felt slick. “Yes,” he whispered as the health of his Skene's glands made themselves knows. He paused with his hand clutching the round tip of his penis. “This won't be like a single cis-penis orgasm.” A gust of warm air from the heater vent sent his drapes fluttering. He grabbed for the warming lotion beside what he'd started with. Slicking his hand, he started rubbing his shaft faster. The friction made his hips thrust into the air. He grasped his inner thigh. “Can't grab my testicles. Could break the pump.” His toes pushed down into his bed and he fell flat a moment later. He let go of his inner thigh and grabbed the base of his cock again. He worked his hand in circles around it as he stroked again with the other. Crying out, he jerked against the bed and pounded his foot against the wall. His eyelids fluttered as the pleasure released throughout him. “Do I keep going?” He stilled with his hands on his cock. “This neo-phallus isn't just for penetrating others. I can feel pleasure on my own.” The door opened and Lady Audrey leaned against the doorjamb. “Enjoying yourself, my boy?” “It's amazing, my Lady. I'm so grateful you ordered me to try this.” Pekka stopped stroking his cock. “Do you not want me to watch?” “Um... I don't know, my Lady.” He frowned. “It's not like I can ejaculate, even if I'm managing some natural lubricant.” “Lover, I'm bisexual. You think the only thing I enjoy seeing is a cock spewing cum?” She grinned as she moved to the foot of his bed. “I heard you kick the wall, during one orgasm, I guess.” Pekka nodded and began to stroke his penis again. Moments later, he stopped again. “Can I cuddle you?” “Yes, please, my Lady. I think I'm done for now, unless you wanna order more.” Lady Audrey lay down beside Pekka. “No order, my dear boy. I love you.” “I love you, my Lady.” He rested his head on her chest and released the air from his neo-phallus. “Thank you, my Lady.”  These two are so gorgeous! "Laura Learns" went live on Amazon yesterday! $3.99. And I'm excited to announce that "Laura Challenges" will be going on sale soon- details ASAP.
So now a snippet- Tonya nodded. "They should have a four tailed tawse here, but are you sure on that detail? Those are intense toys. Even with Laura's possibly lesser strength, it's still likely to hurt a lot." She looked over her shoulder at Josh. "Sir, do you have any straps that I could use to give Jack a small demonstration?" "Sure." Josh unclipped a thin, black leather strap that hung from one belt loop and handed it to Tonya. "I know you've been learning a bunch on the giving end, but receiving?" Tonya raised an eyebrow. "Well, no. Tom said that in this week we'd have the chance to experience more sensations." Jack glanced nervously at Laura. "Place your hands on the desk, palms up," Tonya ordered. Laura sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as Jack lowered his hands between two piles of papers. "Do I have permission for some slaps on your palms, naughty boy?" Tonya grinned as her word choice brought reddening heat into Jack's cheeks. "Yes," Jack croaked. His focus shrank to his sweaty palms and the implement in Tonya's hand. "This is just a thin leather strap on your palms, not the four tailed tawse on your ass, as you're dreaming." Tonya brought the flat side of the toy down on Jack's right palm. Gasping and pulling his hand away, Jack stared at Tonya with an open mouth. "You didn't experiment with any toys on yourself first?" Tonya challenged. "I haven't used much more than sex toys and my hand on Laura so far. I believe she was content to wait on impact play until I'd learned more." -- Blurb: In a continuation of their story, Laura and Jack delve further into their fantasies and desires. Laura's challenge for Jack and herself continues into ageplay. For a wonderful week, they enjoy a variety of roles and play that falls under ageplay, including Jack finding himself experiencing a long-held fantasy. Little girl, strict Daddy, rowdy boy, and stern schoolmarm- they try it all and more. They find that their ages won't stop them from making new friends and learning new things. Their relationship including and beyond their BDSM play continues to grow, leading Jack to buy a ring. How does Laura respond to Jack's proposal? 
This was written for the Week 233 inspiration picture (shared by Cara Thereon), but some particularly difficult days meant that I didn't get this written in time. It seemed short when I finished it and I wasn't very sure I wanted that after my unplanned flash fictions; however, this is on a theme I've been thinking about- my therapist in working with transgender people suggests that people think of things such as “masculine vagina” or “feminine penis.” Since I'm a transmasculine person who doesn't want either metoidioplasty or phalloplasty (two “bottom surgery” options for transmasculine people), I've been thinking much on the “masculine vagina.”
Update: I was way too amused to set up this post after missing the #MasturbationMonday I meant it for- on a day I already had a session with my therapist set up. -- I stop beside a very naked Sanura, her legs up against an empty section of wall. I drop to the carpet and roll myself into the same position, although my feet come nowhere near hers. “Good day, Joey,” she says. “Good day, Sanura.” I adjust my chest binder so it's not bunched up underneath my pecs. “Are you meditating in silence?” “Not particularly.” I rest my right hand on my naked hip and support my head with the left. I glance at Sanura out of the corner of my eye; I love her new twist-out with its sporadic, almost-blond ends. I'm not the same gender as her anymore, even with the similarities in our bodies. Sanura spreads her legs, her right foot touching my left. Her left hands slides down to her vulva. I want to watch, I wait with my eyes now closed. On my mind's screen, my fingers dance along with hers among her slightly trimmed pubic hair. Her fingertips advance to her labia majora and my mouth goes dry. I press my right hand against me, my fingers curling in to touch my stomach. “You can ask Shaman's guidance on not fearing telling him the truth,” Sanura murmurs. I squeeze my vaginal muscles in response. On their release, I slide my middle finger into my masculine vagina. “There are many ways to inhabit gender.” I swallow. “Yes. We're not entirely different gendered, are we?” “No. The constructs of sex and gender are too complex to say that.” My first glance is at the ceiling, but it only takes me a moment to turn my head enough to look at her. Her nipples are more rigid now. Her pubic hair shines with increased arousal fluid. Her toenails glow with holographic purple polish. I slide a second finger into my vagina and move them in circles of creation. Master Daddy's voice impresses itself into my active thoughts, “Joelle juice.” She laughs at the echoes. “Joey juice has a wonderful taste.” My eyelids flutter as I wallow in the rhythmic pulses of the orgasm that begin in my vagina. “I so adore mixing genitals and gendered understanding of them outside the norm.” She purrs a long moan. “Do you find a lovely metaphor between my Lady, your girlfriend's feminine penis and your fingers moving in your masculine vagina?” “Hm, I think, yes.” I smile up at Audrey when she stops in the hall near our heads. “Ahh,” I gasp as my toes curl against the wall. “Love you, my Lady.” Sanura giggles. “Love you too, my Lady.” “Love you both.” Audrey caresses my temple with the side of her foot. “But what's with you giving me a title?” “It just seemed like the thing to do.” I kiss Sanura's forehead before rolling onto my side away from her. “Thanks for the interlude, sweet Sanura.” “You're welcome,” she says before rolling the other way.
When I picked this snippet, I was amused to think of "non-spanking snippet" jokes. I think you'll still enjoy this. Jack and Laura are learning about BDSM and what they like, what their limits are. After enjoying the snippet, you get to see the wonderful cover art that Baronet Press has put together for it. I don't have a release date yet, but it should be *soon*.
--- Jack caught Laura with her gaze jumping on and quickly off Amy again. He leaned close to whisper, "Is seeing your friend in a submissive position too much?" "It's startling, but I trust your brother and Tonya like I don't trust Roy." Laura dragged her tongue over her lips as if convincing herself of her words. "They'll respect her limits." "And they probably know better than Roy what those limits are." Laura smirked. "Before reading my first spanking romance book, I never realized how dangerous vanilla dating is."
 “You need a Daddy to watch over you, to spoil you and also to keep you in line. I'm just the man for the job.” Please enjoy this exerpt from "Absolving Amy":
“Amy, I have to warn you, right now, that I am not a normal boyfriend. You need more than a protector. You need a Daddy to watch over you, to spoil you and also to keep you in line. I'm just the man for the job. In my relationship, I am the one in charge. This means I am going to take really good care of my baby girl. It also means I'm going to hold you accountable for your actions and the choices you make. When you are a good girl, Daddy is going to reward you and spoil you rotten. When you are a bad girl, Daddy is going to punish you as he sees fit to correct the behavior. I'm going to punish you so that the next time you have to make a similar decision, you look back on it and think, do I want to upset my Daddy? Do I want to see the disappointment in his eyes and feel it on my butt? As your Daddy, I will always give you what you need and a lot of what you want.” Blurb: Amy Johnson’s life is a series of bad luck mixed with worse decisions. One of those bad decisions was homicide detective, Ben De Luca. He is sexy, stern, and everything she could ever want, but her past forces her out of his bed and from his life. That is, until she finds herself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, she has no choice but to submit to his presence in her life. Will she accept Ben’s protection and open herself up to his love, or will she allow the walls she has built around her heart to force Ben out of her life, for good, this time? Publisher's Note: This action-packed romance contains graphic scenes as well as power exchange themes. Please do not read it if this offends you. Purchase Link: Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NNNJP9S/ Author Bio RJ Gray started writing at the age of five when she won her elementary school’s story contest. Her writing has evolved from short stories about unicorns to books about dominant alpha males and feisty, stubborn females. RJ holds college degrees in both social work and criminology, topics that can often be found in her novels. She has spent the past fifteen years the wife of an Army bomb technician and as such, she has a passion for military and veteran causes. RJ lives in Virginia with her husband, two young sons and their recently rescued beagle-lab puppy. RJ loves hearing from her readers. You can email her at AuthorRJGray@gmail.com She is quite the social butterfly and you can find her on the internet on her Facebook Page, Amazon, Instagram, Bookbub, GoodReads and Twitter. Another way to keep up with her is by subscribing to her newsletter. Thank you!  As I promised yesterday, here's a snippet from one of my Ageplay-related WIPs. A possible blurb: My Master Daddy and I don't celebrate most holidays already in existence. I asked for us to try a year of holidays created by me. Twelve different holidays that fit our unique relationship and personalities. -- January Spankymas- the two days between Shaman's and my birthdays - “Daddy,” I call out while holding a pony, drawing out the d's in the middle, “I has an idea for something fun for the year. Are ya game?” Daddy rolls his eyes. “So being a Little means messed up words to you? I thought we agreed to no lisping.” “I didn't lisp when I asked are ya game, Daddy.” I kneel in front of him in his big recliner chair. “Are ya? Are ya?” “What's your idea? I hope it doesn't cost a lot.” “We make a year of new holidays. One a month, Daddy. Things we like better than established holidays that give us bad memories.” I bat my eyelashes at him as I look at his face. “Like since your days off fall on the day after your birthday and the next, we'd have the those two days to have Spankymas, to link our birthdays.” I nod with what I hope is a serious expression. I fall back onto the ground, narrowly missing his computer, as I burst into giggles. Daddy reaches down to grab me by my collar. “Daddy, Daddy! I said the day after your birthday!” I yelp as I find myself falling across his lap and grabbing the side of his chair so I don't knock a bunch of stuff to the floor. “If I'm your Daddy, I think I can spank you whenever you're being a brat. And that's most of the time you're awake.” “Owwie!” I'm gonna stay Little and not have my brain go wonky into enjoying the spanking. I swear! “Do I have to take you to bed and spank you there so you remember you enjoy it?” “Maybe, Daddy.” I grin and bat my eyelashes again. “Spankymas. You got a few weeks to think on this.” Come back next Wednesday the 20th to enjoy some of Februarys's holiday.  Before the chair move (10 degress to the left, Master Daddy joked), you can see me holding Mx. Meeseeks and Audrey dolly. Baby Apple Jack is in the blankets behind me. (There are several clickable links in this post, only one of which goes to a book for sale, which is a friend's book, rather than my own.)
I'm so ready for spring- I'm in Michigan and I fell on ice three times on Sunday. Not bad enough to go to the ER, but I'm certainly achy. Of course, as I sit to write, I'm also trying to balance inspiration music, my daughter yelling as she plays on her PC, and my cat purring behind me. I may not manage updates in the order I mentioned in my title :D While doing a bunch of updating to my website (check out especially my About & Contact page), I spent some time making changes on my Vala's Story page. You see, I've been pondering publishing again. Vala's Story is really my “book baby.” I didn't write it to fit any tropes or genre expectations, but to tell the story I want to tell. And so I want to self-publish it still. I did some major rewriting to books 1 through 3; books 4 through 9 are waiting their turns. They are available in a previous edition on Amazon and B&N, but I don't share those links anymore. I haven't set it up yet, so it's not live for readers to see, but Weebly sites include a store. I'm thinking to sell Vala's Story in some sort of collection before I go about making the current edition available on other retailers. I was also thinking to share longer bits of it through my Patreon page before the books are ready; did you know I have a Patreon page? My writing topics and the sorts of characters I write about has always been all over the place; I've intentionally worked to write diversely, including learning more about many subjects so I wouldn't create stereotypes rather than full characters. I still have dozens of novels started- Vala's Story is far from being alone on my computer- but my current interest is totally in Ageplay. It started with Pepper North's “Zoey.” I've always been interested in ageplay a bit, even wanting to include some stuff in my relationship with my Master- who's let me know that “Master Daddy” is okay, but not “Daddy Master.” I have 2 WIPs currently focused on Ageplay; if you come back tomorrow, I'm going to share a snippet from “A Little's New Holidays.” I haven't written a blurb yet- I'm not even finished the first draft yet. However, it follows my Master Daddy and I through a year of holidays personalized to us and our relationship. While ageplay is a significant part of the book, other pieces of BDSM that we engage in are also present, including graphic sex scenes. Hm, other updates? Page updates? Check. Vala's Story? Check. Ageplay? Check. Oh, and there was the Patreon mention. I don't usually have graphic pictures of myself on my page- although I did tease my Daddy with a boob shot over Messenger the other day while he was at work. Oo, pictures, that leads me- I found out that Chrome has an extension that allows you to upload to Instagram while on a PC so I'll be active on my IG again. Woot!  This morning (Sunday), I visited a church I used to be a member at; I had the moment to talk about chest binding and paternalistic male plastic surgeons. That to say that the inspiration picture wasn't intriguing to me. Instead, I wanted to share something that happened recently...
-- “Quickie before gaming, Master?” I lift my shirt enough to show off my wiggling, naked butt. “Really? When I'm this close to leaving?” Master laughs. “You can use me like a fucktoy, Master.” I turn around and he pushes me onto the bed. He drops his jeans to the floor and steps out of them. He grabs my calves and throws my legs up on his shoulders. In this moment, I remember my chest binder beneath his shirt- he still wants me. He thrusts into my cunt. I am more woman than man right now. His thrusts are fast. I squeeze and release my cunt muscles around his cock. I take a fluttering breath as his pubic hair pushes against my masculine vulva. The shuddering breaths become grunts as I feel the spirals of pleasurable climax in my clit and cunt. “Ca-ca-ca-” I stutter. “Come, slut.” Master slaps my cheeks lightly, pushing my orgasm higher. My gaze shoots back and forth over Master's face. His eyes squeeze shut. “Fill me! Please!” I cry out, my lungs to tight to scream. He grunts and stills before rolling onto the bed beside me. “I hate to fuck and run-” “But guys are waiting to play Guild Ball. Love you, Master.” “Love you, brat.” Master pushes to the edge of the bed to grab his underwear and jeans. I grin at my cum-filled cunt.  What does a smut writer do when he's missing all inspiration and motivation? I don't wanna list what I tried. The inspiration picture was interesting, but then my thought was to consider Kayla's comment and then I couldn't manage anything but “How many times I can I deal with a cock?” Then a reader commented that she found this article about muffing interesting and I couldn't say when I wrote about muffing before so I sat to write. Audrey told me to write about someone other than her. Joanna pressed her face against the cool, inner wall of her apartment. “What a day,” she muttered. A knock at her door startled her. “Just a moment,” she called out before scurrying to her door. She took a quick look through the peephole. “I know you're there,” Michel cooed. Grinning, she opened the thick wooden door to let him in. “Love.” Michel gave her two quick air kisses, his lips just barely touching her soft skin. He pushed the door closed. “My love.” “Such a sweet.” Joanna wandered ainto her bedroom, Michel trailing after her. “A guy at work was offering me a new job.” “Oh?” He sat on her bed near the pillows. She slipped out of her red pumps and pulled her nylons off. She reached under her tight lemon yellow dress. “At a sex toy shop.” “You'd be great! Think of all the teaching you could do!” “Or I'd just be more frustrated than I already am.” She pouted and crashed onto her bed. He placed his hands on the hem of her dress. “You don't have to be frustrated right now.” “Help with your fingers and tongue.” “My pleasure.” He eased her g-string down to her knees. As she pushed, he eased her testicles out of the inguinal canals. She groaned as he slipped the tips of his index fingers over her skin. “Oh, yes.” His fingers pressed into the smallest of indents before he eased them further into her pockets. “I'm so glad you taught me how to finger you.” He looked up at her next groan. Wrapping his mouth around her cock, he lifted his gaze to her fingers pinching her nipples. He pressed his fingers deeper into her, both hands moving with short thrusts. He wiggled his hips, his own cock hard in his leather pants. “Coming, coming,” she muttered with her head rocking back and fort against her pillow. He hummed and sucked hard on her cock. “So good, but no jizz yet.” He kept up his fingering and sucking. He moved his chin against her shaved scrotum. His fingers still fucking her, he pulled his mouth off her cock. “So what's your pleasure?” “I wanna finish this orgasm.” He sucked on her more, his tongue working on circumcised head. He moved in his fingers in circles in her canals, the rest of his hands gripping her hips as she started to buck against him. He breathed in as her body spread out with her release. “One hand, grab my balls,” she grunted. He eased his left finger out of her canal and squeezed her balls in one hand. Her feet pressed into the bed and her cum shot into his mouth. His cock throbbed against his pants in response to her pleasure and he smiled around her cock as he worked to swallow her cum. He lifted his mouth slowly, swallowing as he went. He kissed the tip of her cock. “Thanks, love. Feeling less frustrated?” “Yeah, for a bit. You come up here.”  |
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