While the inspiration picture was lovely (click the picture to go see it and the other people taking part this week), I'm feeling thoughtful and semi-serious today. The end of June, my Master Daddy and I adopted a dog. While she was supposed to be his dog, she imprinted on me and I took over her training, including making her into my service dog.

Well she's made having sex, BDSM, or even masturbating difficult. Heck, just getting into the bed and getting some covers is a challenge LOL. So as I try to continue to make progress in healing from my nervous breakdown (Feburary 2018), trying to keep my sensual life going is even trickier. My dog (Honey) is a 15-month-old puppy and has total "teen brain."
You would think with me being a writer that I'd have plenty in my brain to masturbate to, but often enough, I struggle with the energy level of a new mother and I wish I could hold my Kindle and one-handed read, but not with a curious dog :D.
A few of the stories I've written while my masturbating, I meant to share on this hop, but didn't manage to get around to it. I keep managing menage situations. I do hope that something I read on someone else's blog today helps me with new stories, and a bit of energy to masturbate once I get some covers away from Honey.

This was written for the Week 233 inspiration picture (shared by Cara Thereon), but some particularly difficult days meant that I didn't get this written in time. It seemed short when I finished it and I wasn't very sure I wanted that after my unplanned flash fictions; however, this is on a theme I've been thinking about- my therapist in working with transgender people suggests that people think of things such as “masculine vagina” or “feminine penis.” Since I'm a transmasculine person who doesn't want either metoidioplasty or phalloplasty (two “bottom surgery” options for transmasculine people), I've been thinking much on the “masculine vagina.”

Update: I was way too amused to set up this post after missing the #MasturbationMonday I meant it for- on a day I already had a session with my therapist set up.

--


I stop beside a very naked Sanura, her legs up against an empty section of wall. I drop to the carpet and roll myself into the same position, although my feet come nowhere near hers.

“Good day, Joey,” she says.

“Good day, Sanura.” I adjust my chest binder so it's not bunched up underneath my pecs. “Are you meditating in silence?”

“Not particularly.”

I rest my right hand on my naked hip and support my head with the left. I glance at Sanura out of the corner of my eye; I love her new twist-out with its sporadic, almost-blond ends. I'm not the same gender as her anymore, even with the similarities in our bodies.

Sanura spreads her legs, her right foot touching my left. Her left hands slides down to her vulva.

I want to watch, I wait with my eyes now closed. On my mind's screen, my fingers dance along with hers among her slightly trimmed pubic hair. Her fingertips advance to her labia majora and my mouth goes dry. I press my right hand against me, my fingers curling in to touch my stomach.

“You can ask Shaman's guidance on not fearing telling him the truth,” Sanura murmurs.

I squeeze my vaginal muscles in response. On their release, I slide my middle finger into my masculine vagina.

“There are many ways to inhabit gender.”

I swallow. “Yes. We're not entirely different gendered, are we?”

“No. The constructs of sex and gender are too complex to say that.”

My first glance is at the ceiling, but it only takes me a moment to turn my head enough to look at her.

Her nipples are more rigid now. Her pubic hair shines with increased arousal fluid. Her toenails glow with holographic purple polish.

I slide a second finger into my vagina and move them in circles of creation. Master Daddy's voice impresses itself into my active thoughts, “Joelle juice.”

She laughs at the echoes. “Joey juice has a wonderful taste.”

My eyelids flutter as I wallow in the rhythmic pulses of the orgasm that begin in my vagina.

“I so adore mixing genitals and gendered understanding of them outside the norm.” She purrs a long moan. “Do you find a lovely metaphor between my Lady, your girlfriend's feminine penis and your fingers moving in your masculine vagina?”

“Hm, I think, yes.” I smile up at Audrey when she stops in the hall near our heads. “Ahh,” I gasp as my toes curl against the wall. “Love you, my Lady.”

Sanura giggles. “Love you too, my Lady.”

“Love you both.” Audrey caresses my temple with the side of her foot. “But what's with you giving me a title?”

“It just seemed like the thing to do.” I kiss Sanura's forehead before rolling onto my side away from her. “Thanks for the interlude, sweet Sanura.”

​“You're welcome,” she says before rolling the other way.

This morning (Sunday), I visited a church I used to be a member at; I had the moment to talk about chest binding and paternalistic male plastic surgeons. That to say that the inspiration picture wasn't intriguing to me. Instead, I wanted to share something that happened recently...
--

​“Quickie before gaming, Master?” I lift my shirt enough to show off my wiggling, naked butt.


“Really? When I'm this close to leaving?” Master laughs.


“You can use me like a fucktoy, Master.” I turn around and he pushes me onto the bed.


He drops his jeans to the floor and steps out of them. He grabs my calves and throws my legs up on his shoulders.


In this moment, I remember my chest binder beneath his shirt- he still wants me.


He thrusts into my cunt.


I am more woman than man right now.


His thrusts are fast.


I squeeze and release my cunt muscles around his cock. I take a fluttering breath as his pubic hair pushes against my masculine vulva. The shuddering breaths become grunts as I feel the spirals of pleasurable climax in my clit and cunt. “Ca-ca-ca-” I stutter.


“Come, slut.” Master slaps my cheeks lightly, pushing my orgasm higher.


My gaze shoots back and forth over Master's face.


His eyes squeeze shut.


“Fill me! Please!” I cry out, my lungs to tight to scream.


He grunts and stills before rolling onto the bed beside me. “I hate to fuck and run-”


“But guys are waiting to play Guild Ball. Love you, Master.”


“Love you, brat.” Master pushes to the edge of the bed to grab his underwear and jeans.


I grin at my cum-filled cunt.

(Continuing from 12/24; this is part 2. It's still Audrey, Blaze, and I.)



I cling to Audrey as she scoots us a few inches closer to Blaze. “None of us are cis.”

“How does that make you feel?”

I lift my gaze to Blaze's face and then it drops to their hands. “Um. How should it make me feel? No. Curious. Interested. Good. Different. I'm a thesaurus.”

Audrey laughs at my last statement. “Now, now, little love. Are you forcing eye contact with Blaze that you find uncomfortable?”

I shake my head. “Not at all. They're responding like you or Amy would, not forcing me to maintain the contact longer than I'm comfortable with.” I press small kisses to Audrey's jaw and close my eyes. “I'm working on owning my feelings and remembering that most people aren't unsafe like my mother.” I swallow. I open my eyes. “Most people aren't unsafe like my mother.”

“That appears to be a good thing for you to affirm.” Blaze nods. “Parented differently?”

I giggle. “Good memory. Because even adults sometimes need their parents' support.” I look down at Blaze's hand on the couch. “Please hold my hand.”

Blaze's long fingers wrap around mine.

“Your hand makes mine look so tiny. I like it.” I brush my thumb across Blaze's palm. “I like you.”

“I like you too.” Blaze smiles at me. “Are you still good with talking?”

“Yeah, but thank you for asking. It's good to be reminded that you're open to communication other than just spoken.”

“I particularly enjoyed watching how you used various types of AAC in your Autistic love story, including during intimate moments.”

“Per, Audrey? Might I please lay across both your laps?” I breathe in deep to calm my rapid heartbeat.

“I would love that. Twelve isn't too old for cuddles, in my opinion.” Blaze squeezes my hand before releasing it.

I ponder movement and my body's potential placement. I scoot so my upper back an head are resting on Blaze's... Per's lap. My butt rests between my loved one and love-one-to-be. My legs rest in part over Audrey. I turn my knees so I can tuck my feet behind her back.

“And we have an adorable boy covered back up with his blanket.” Per tucks the blanket around my neck.

“Thanks, Per.”

Per strokes my hair. “It appears that Audrey is having adult thoughts about an adult Joey.”

I glance at Audrey's eyes, those beautifully rich brown eyes, and see the haziness of which Per speaks.

“You know the adult Joey can consent to Audrey, if he wishes?”

“Consent?” I feel my eyebrows and forehead pull tight as if asking a WH-question in ASL.

“You can ask her what she wants and you can say yes or no.” Per leans forward to drop a small kiss on my forehead. “Of course a twelve-year-old can't legally consent in most of the US and I prefer to separate adult interactions from ageplay.”

“Separate how?” I feel Audrey's hand on my knee, but still above the blanket.

“It depends on the moment. Do you feel safe with part of you on my lap and part on Audrey's? Is that enough separation for you as well?” Per moves their arm so it supports the back of my head.

“Yes, Per.” I snuggle my face against Per's plaid-shirt covered belly.

Audrey caresses my knee until I look at her face. “Joey, I would like your verbal consent. To hear your sweet words. To hear you confirm that what I want is what you also want.”

I focus on my swallowing, the substantial being of Per with us, underneath me. “Yes or no? That's what I was missing when I was thirteen. No one had told me I had a choice.” I close my eyes to affirm Per's spoken truth inside me. “Audrey, had I told you yet--“

“Yes, I heard your thoughts, love.”

“Please help me find my masculine vulva and vagina. Please touch me in the ways you need to help me affirm that.” I look up at Per. “But Per, please help me put on a chest binder first.” I ease my legs from Audrey's lap and to the floor.

When I pause, Per says, “Look to the floor.”

I turn my head away from Per; a new black chest binder lays on the floor a few feet from us. “A new binder, Per?”

“Something my boy needs, right?” Per grins at me.

“Thanks, Per.” I struggle to sitting upright with Per's hand pushing on my back. My feet touch the floor as I look down to see Per's hands in the air beside my hips. “Yes, help, please, Per.”

Audrey looks at the screen narrating our actions. “So many commas, dear.”

I wrinkle my nose at Audrey before standing with Per's help. I pick up the binder and look into it. “Per! How'd you know my size?”

Audrey snorts. “I told them your size.”

“You've worn binders, right?” Per rests their hands on my shoulders.

“Yes, Per.” I turn the binder inside out and upside down before holding it out and stepping into it. As I tug it into place, I look up at Per's face.

“The compression feels good, doesn't it?” Per moves their shirt collar to show the strap of their own chest binder.

“Definitely!” I push my pecs into place under my binder. “Per, may I please hug you?”

“Sure.” Per holds their arms out wide and I barrel into the embrace, sighing when Per engulfs me in protective pressure. Their fingers press into my skin, but their hands are still.

I hum into their shirt, not quite trying to make words.

“Can I call you my boy?” Per continues to hold me.

I nod against their shirt.

“My boy, did you forget about Audrey?” At my gasp, Per asks, “May I carry you back to the couch?”

“Please.” I turn slightly in Per's embrace just before they position their arms behind my knees and back to lift me. I sniff. “Hmm, is that vertiver?”

“Yes.” I close my eyes and enjoy the movements. I cling to Per's neck as they relaxed down to the couch.

“You feel so good in my arms. Want help returning to your previous position?”

I nod. My stomach muscles clench under the longer, new binder. I've never worn a full length one. The back of my head again rests on Per's arm.

“Does it help that your tummy is covered? To consider your masculine vulva, that is?” Audrey traces her finger through my pubic hair, across the top edge of my vulva. “Does the fuzzy covering make you feel masculine?”

“Too many questions at once, love! I'm not sure what I think of the long binder. And I'm thinking your aroused expression and my interest are helping most with the idea of masculine vulva, my comfort with Per here.”

Audrey pushes lightly into my body. “Wonderfully pliable. I think of times I've gotten to watch you writhe as Shaman played with clothespins.”

“This is your first full length binder? I'll have to see about getting you some more then.” Per brushes their lips over my forehead.

Audrey brushes her fingers over the meeting of my outer labia. “So softly masculine. I'm always so drawn to your labia. You still like that word?”

I groan, huff a breath through my nose. My gaze meets Per's.

“That groan sounded like it could have been a yes. Was it?” Audrey moves her hand from my outer labia to the top of my thigh.

I lift my hand to sign YES.

Audrey tugs at my outer labia. “I think your inner labia might be the most masculine, the way they hang just beyond the outer lips.”

Per strokes my hair. “Still good, my boy?”

“Yes, Per, excellent.” I inhabit Middle and adult at the same time.

“Stroking your inner labia makes me feel so womanly. Do you prefer my fingertip or nail?”

“Your... your finger.” I cough. “But womanly?”

“Let your mind relax. I'm not saying that your body affirms or changes my gender identity. You affirm my feelings of womanliness.” Audrey continues to stroke my inner labia.

I whimper with the growling arousal that prompts my Skene's glands; how ever do I find such medical words arousing? “Mmm, yes.”

“Such strength in these gorgeous muscles.” Audrey traces her fingers around the opening of my vagina, dipping in shallowly in for my arousal. “And strength in your masculine vagina. It's so you, so wonderfully boyish. I love how your boy-pussy grips my fingers when you're coming.”

I brush my fingers over the bottom hem of my new binder. I look at Per's chin. “Yes is yes?”

“Yes.” Per chuckles.

Audrey slides two fingers into my vagina and starts to move them in scissor fashion. Her thumb presses against my bound clitorophallus. “Can you have a little orgasm for me, my sweet man?”

My butt rocks against the couch and Audrey's leg. “Like you so much, Per,” I mumble.

“I like you too, sweet Joey.” Per cups my cheek with one warm hand.

I close my eyes as the pleasure rockets through me, Audrey's suggestive question prepping my body alongside our chat. “Yes, yes, yes!” I focus on her fingers' movements inside me. I squeeze her fingers as my lips part in a long, long moan.

“That's my love.” Audrey presses down on my mons with her other hand, preventing me from pulling away from her touch. As my moan increases in pitch and volume, she slides a third finger into me.

I push up hard against her hands.

“That's right. You can feel all this pleasure as a consenting adult and I'll make us hot chocolate shortly.” Per kisses my nose.

“Yes!” I crash back down onto Audrey, no longer pressing against her hands. “Thanks, thanks, love.” I turn my head into Per's shirt. “Thanks for being here, my new Per.”

“You're welcome.” Per kisses my nose again. “Audrey, will you sure in the hot chocolate?”
​
“Most definitely.” Audrey kisses my mons.

While I loved Kilted Wookie's photo, I wanted to use the 2-week inspiration picture to write a different sort of 2-parter. I often think of the limits in terms of words to express love; we don't have the same specificity as Greek, for instance. So I want to interact with a new character in a way that crosses between 2 WIPs.
-

Audrey sits in a couch she conjured into my mind. “Since you're impatient...”

“I'm not doing what you're hinting at.” I kiss Audrey's cheek.

Audrey plants a quick kiss on my lips. “Blaze, you have some time to join us?”

“Sure. I just put Wally to bed.” Blaze lifted their hand to make a loose braid in their hair. “So the only physical thing you know about me is my long, blue curls, Joey?”

I lick my lips. “Well, I'm not far into your book yet, and one thing you need to know about me is that I prefer to encounter my characters rather than making too many designs for their being beforehand. As well, you don't seem to be reflecting on your body much; I hope that doesn't reflect my limited understanding of asexuality.”

Audrey pats my hand. “Blaze, do you mind if I cuddle Joey?”

Blaze shakes their head and Audrey spreads her legs so I can sit there, relaxing back into her warmth.

“How much does a body mean? I'm serious. When relationship, when interaction isn't of a sexual, body-joining nature, what does a body's configuration mean?” I study Blaze. My mind and hope repeatedly jump to Audrey's create a Caregiver and wait for them to come to you as I did. “In describing your body, do I risk designing you to my whims?”

Audrey wraps her arms around my middle and gives me a gentle squeeze. “Am I always exactly who you want me to be?”

“Okay. I get your point, love.” I wrap my hands over hers. “But it does seem now like I'm jumping to the impatience you accused me of.”

“How about we reframe this as me being a matchmaker?”

Blaze laughs. “A matchmaker extraordinaire you are.” They lean forward to touch the couch beside my knee.

I cough. “I don't want re-parented, but parented differently.”

Blaze's hazel eyes glow for a moment when I manage to meet them. “I think I have an idea of your meaning.”

“You might touch my knee... Per.” I feel my throat move with my nervous swallowing. Long, thin fingers touch the skin on my naked knee. “Uh, shouldn't I put clothes on if I'm supposed to be, like, 12?”

“There's teens at nudist recreation thing. How about I get you a blanket?” After my nod, Blaze grasps my Batman blanket and eases it down over me. “There you are.” They sat back down in their chair. “Consider please, was your anxiety as you think a pre-teen would act or think back to your own difficult time then?”

“Both. Like, you aren't my Per, really. We've just started to get to know each other.”

“But did you feel this level of distrust when you were chronologically this age?” Audrey brushes my hair back from my face.

“No, it was to start building though.”

“Might I sit on the couch beside you both?” Blaze eases themself back against their chair.

“Yes, please.” I giggle. “I always wrinkle my nose when I see people say that online about guys and kinky stuff they like.”

“But I think in this case that it was a cute response.” Blaze sits on the far end and turns to face us; I turn on Audrey's lap, my legs dangling over hers. “So I can see all the My Little Pony and Jelly Belly stuff, WW2. And all your books. Did I get most of your special interests?”

“Yes. Uh.” I look around for a stuffie. I don't care if I'm supposed to be too old for stuffies! “Audrey, where's Audrey dolly?”

“You mean this doll?” Blaze points at where Audrey dolly has appeared on the couch beside their hip. “She's very pretty, maybe just like her namesake?”

“Such a flatterer.” Audrey tugs on the neck of her shirt as I hold out my hand for Audrey dolly. “Joey doesn't like his dolly to be cleaned.”

“He, him are your pronouns?”

“Yes.” I swallow. “Per.”

Blaze smiles with gentle upward curves at each edge of their mouth. “This isn't some D/s play where you have to force a title before you feel comfortable with it, with me.” Our hands touch as Audrey dolly moves from their hand to mine. “My pronouns are they, them. Do you understand the concept of gender identity?”

“Yup. Like I'm a transgender demiboy. I was assigned female at birth, but I don't feel female most of the time. Like someone recently talked about a feminine penis, I see myself as having a masculine vulva and vagina. Although I don't feel the need to give either of those parts a different name, like some trans men and non-binary people.”

“Although we are working on pecs for your chest.” Audrey traces her finger over my collarbone.

“Pecs is such a wonderful term. It was one of the first terms that helped me with my own gender pondering. Would you like to hear what identity term feels right to me?”

I nod eagerly.

“Non-binary and genderfluid.”

I feel my face stretch as I can't control my smile. “Those were words I used for myself as I was trying to things out.”

“Yes, figuring out oneself is good.”

I tilt my head back to look at Audrey's face. I scrunch up my forehead, hoping she understands my expression.

“Wanna move closer or invite them to?” Audrey kisses my forehead.

​“Move. Us, move.”

UPDATE to add link to the second part of this.