I'm posting!!! I have plans!
One of the publishers I work with just replied to an email so I'll have news soon.
And National Novel Writing Month is coming up in November. I'm a municipal liaison for the Saginaw Bay region in Michigan. While I'm excitedly planning for the ability to meet in person again (crossing my fingers that Covid cases don't shoot up to high risk again in my area), I'm also thinking on my writing/publishing.
I continue to type away on Hank and Petunia's story- she has ageplay experience and he doesn't, but can he still be her Daddy?- and I think on my new project for Nanowrimo 2022- Amygdala and Sapir are on item? And what's Audrey doing in the story?

​Joelle

As my Autistic mind often does, as I considered the inspiration picture away from my computer, I saw the image in the air before me. But then The Queen, a character from my "Vala's Story"-verse and part of my virtual family, demanded my attention.
--
Audrey stepped back from the St. Andrew's Cross on which she'd bound Onyx. "That's lovely." She gently tugged on the hoops piercing his nipples.

Onyx bellow with pain and pleasure, his neck muscles standing out prominently in his struggle. The moment she stopped pulling, he let out a loud exhale.

"What should I do with you?" Audrey taunted, pressing the bulge of er cock under her silky dress against his naked cock.

"Enjoy me, my Lady," Onyx whimpered.

"I haven't begun to do much to make you whimper, boy." She pressed soft kisses along his jaw.

His hips pumped, his ass hitting the black leather-covered wood loudly.

"Iven, come here," Audrey purred.

The short man ran across The Queen's main playroom. His skin glowed a medium bronze from his work outside on the grounds.

"Stand in front of Onyx, about 3 feet away." Audrey considered the sensation toys she'd collected. She moved the table and herself to Onyx's side so he could see Iven. "You like his cock, don't you?"

"Yes, my Lady." Onyx strained against the heavy leather cuffs holding him.

"Iven, stroke your cock until I say stop." As he reached down to obey, she grabbed a small Wartenberg wheel. Onyx's lips parted when she touched the middle of his chest with cold metal. With slight pressure, she rolled the pinwheel up and down Onyx's chest and belly three times.

Iven wrapped his hand around his cock, but then backed off to just two fingers.

Onyx groaned, his lips catching in an open circle when Audrey pressed one pointed tip against a nipple. "My Lady."

"Yes, the one who controls you." Using her long pinkie nail, she scratched his other nipple.

Onyx shot up the mere inches the cuffs would allow. His back arched. His cock jumped in the air with the extra pain and pleasure tantalizing his chest.

Iven brought his hand up to his mouth. His gaze connecting with Onyx, he thoroughly licked his palm. "Our Lady didn't say I shouldn't have an orgasm with her permission as my goal."

Dropping to flat foot, Onyx then looked to Audrey.

"Should I let him come and not you?" Audrey taunted.

"As it pleases you, my Lady." Onyx shrieked at her rolling the wheel over his cock, one tip going into his cumhole. "How wet you are! You didn't even need to lick your hand as Iven did." She moved the Wartenberg wheel between his thighs. She knelt at his feet.

"May I please touch my balls too, my Lady?" Iven rasped.

Audrey brought the wheel's spokes up to Onyx's genitals. "Yes, good boy." A drop of pre-cum shown on er hand. She pressed her thumb against his frenulum. "I think I'd like this pierced too, but probably by a professional piercer. What do you think?"

"Yes, please, my Lady," Onyx cried.

"I'll have to ask you again not during play." Audrey laughed. "Iven, would you like to see Onyx pierced again?"

"Oh yes, my Lady, especially if I can hold his hand," Iven said, his word punctuated with pants.

Audrey replaced the simple Wartenberg wheel she'd been using with a double barrel pinwheel. She drug it up Onyx's shaft, drawing another tortured shriek.

"Don't come without permission."

"What do I need to do for permission, my Lady? Iven asked with his words taking on a sweet, higher pitch.

Audrey dropped the pinwheel and then rushed through undoing Onyx's cuffs. "Fuck your cum into his face," she replied without looking. She reached up and pushed down on Onyx's shoulder. He sank to his knees and she continued, "and when you taste his cum, you may spill your seed on the floor."

Iven cupped Onyx's head as he slid his cock into the hot, wet hole. His toes curled into the carpet beneath his feet.

Onyx's throat moved.

"My good boys," Audrey murmured as Iven grasped Onyx's head with both hands.

"Yes, yes!" Iven threw back his head.

Onyx grasped Iven's naked ass. His hips went rigid just before his cum shot into a small pool on the scarlet carpet. He swallowed and shot another stream of cum.

"My good boys." Audrey pulled Onyx and Iven against her legs. "Let's go enjoy the hot tub."

"But you, my Lady," Iven protested.

​"I'll enjoy your attentions later."

First I'm going to share with you all something I tweeted: “#AmWriting #transgender #TransMan #MasturbationMonday Sigh, I keep finding any reason I can to not finish this piece. @KaylaLords can you recommend I should be done so you can read it next week? LOL”

Working with Pekka, my transgender man who has had some gender confirming surgeries, I struggled to figure out the point of this scene. Inspired by JerBear's picture in week 236, I finally pushed through to what I found was a good ending late on Monday the 15th. Too much life happening, too much stress. But this is good. I even want to share it with my therapist.
--
Pekka rubbed the cocoa butter over the still healing area of his thigh where the surgeon had taken the skin graft for his phalloplasty. No more stitches, just tender skin.


He squeezed more lotion over his thigh. Some trickled between his legs. His palm slipped over his scrotum, that part of his body he worked to feel a part of him. His skin against skin felt good. He worked the pump within, made to feel as testicles.

“My Lady wanted me to grow used to this on my own,” he reminded himself aloud. After a few tentative pumps, he grew more comfortable. Once his neo-phallus stood erect, he squeezed more lotion onto his hand. He palmed his cock. Sucking in a breath, he focused on the sensations from his palm and phallus.

“This is me. All of me, even the surgical creations are still me.” His other hand moved to his chest, finger slipping over his nipples one at a time. He looked out his window in a small area between his scarlet drapes. He left off caressing his nipples to touch the puckered skin from his top surgery.

“I have become more me, but what does that mean?” He coughed. “I feel as I want to, inside and outside.” He cleared his mind before he continued his exploratory caresses. The sandalwood incense wafted over him. He left off touching his chest to wrap that hand around the base of his cock. With soft, even breaths, he relaxed into pleasant sensations. He groaned as a clitoral-like orgasm burst within him. “No limits, my Lady says.” His hand traveled up to the tip of his neo-phallus, his lips pulling upward into a smile at his cock lacking the slicing that would have made him look circumcised, unlike his beautiful domme. He grasped the base of his cock with both hands. His mouth caught in a wide circle as his hands suddenly felt slick. “Yes,” he whispered as the health of his Skene's glands made themselves knows. He paused with his hand clutching the round tip of his penis. “This won't be like a single cis-penis orgasm.”

A gust of warm air from the heater vent sent his drapes fluttering.

He grabbed for the warming lotion beside what he'd started with. Slicking his hand, he started rubbing his shaft faster. The friction made his hips thrust into the air. He grasped his inner thigh. “Can't grab my testicles. Could break the pump.” His toes pushed down into his bed and he fell flat a moment later. He let go of his inner thigh and grabbed the base of his cock again. He worked his hand in circles around it as he stroked again with the other. Crying out, he jerked against the bed and pounded his foot against the wall. His eyelids fluttered as the pleasure released throughout him. “Do I keep going?” He stilled with his hands on his cock. “This neo-phallus isn't just for penetrating others. I can feel pleasure on my own.”

The door opened and Lady Audrey leaned against the doorjamb. “Enjoying yourself, my boy?”

“It's amazing, my Lady. I'm so grateful you ordered me to try this.” Pekka stopped stroking his cock.

“Do you not want me to watch?”

“Um... I don't know, my Lady.” He frowned. “It's not like I can ejaculate, even if I'm managing some natural lubricant.”

“Lover, I'm bisexual. You think the only thing I enjoy seeing is a cock spewing cum?” She grinned as she moved to the foot of his bed. “I heard you kick the wall, during one orgasm, I guess.”

Pekka nodded and began to stroke his penis again. Moments later, he stopped again.

“Can I cuddle you?”

“Yes, please, my Lady. I think I'm done for now, unless you wanna order more.”

Lady Audrey lay down beside Pekka. “No order, my dear boy. I love you.”

“I love you, my Lady.” He rested his head on her chest and released the air from his neo-phallus. “Thank you, my Lady.”

(Continuing from 12/24; this is part 2. It's still Audrey, Blaze, and I.)



I cling to Audrey as she scoots us a few inches closer to Blaze. “None of us are cis.”

“How does that make you feel?”

I lift my gaze to Blaze's face and then it drops to their hands. “Um. How should it make me feel? No. Curious. Interested. Good. Different. I'm a thesaurus.”

Audrey laughs at my last statement. “Now, now, little love. Are you forcing eye contact with Blaze that you find uncomfortable?”

I shake my head. “Not at all. They're responding like you or Amy would, not forcing me to maintain the contact longer than I'm comfortable with.” I press small kisses to Audrey's jaw and close my eyes. “I'm working on owning my feelings and remembering that most people aren't unsafe like my mother.” I swallow. I open my eyes. “Most people aren't unsafe like my mother.”

“That appears to be a good thing for you to affirm.” Blaze nods. “Parented differently?”

I giggle. “Good memory. Because even adults sometimes need their parents' support.” I look down at Blaze's hand on the couch. “Please hold my hand.”

Blaze's long fingers wrap around mine.

“Your hand makes mine look so tiny. I like it.” I brush my thumb across Blaze's palm. “I like you.”

“I like you too.” Blaze smiles at me. “Are you still good with talking?”

“Yeah, but thank you for asking. It's good to be reminded that you're open to communication other than just spoken.”

“I particularly enjoyed watching how you used various types of AAC in your Autistic love story, including during intimate moments.”

“Per, Audrey? Might I please lay across both your laps?” I breathe in deep to calm my rapid heartbeat.

“I would love that. Twelve isn't too old for cuddles, in my opinion.” Blaze squeezes my hand before releasing it.

I ponder movement and my body's potential placement. I scoot so my upper back an head are resting on Blaze's... Per's lap. My butt rests between my loved one and love-one-to-be. My legs rest in part over Audrey. I turn my knees so I can tuck my feet behind her back.

“And we have an adorable boy covered back up with his blanket.” Per tucks the blanket around my neck.

“Thanks, Per.”

Per strokes my hair. “It appears that Audrey is having adult thoughts about an adult Joey.”

I glance at Audrey's eyes, those beautifully rich brown eyes, and see the haziness of which Per speaks.

“You know the adult Joey can consent to Audrey, if he wishes?”

“Consent?” I feel my eyebrows and forehead pull tight as if asking a WH-question in ASL.

“You can ask her what she wants and you can say yes or no.” Per leans forward to drop a small kiss on my forehead. “Of course a twelve-year-old can't legally consent in most of the US and I prefer to separate adult interactions from ageplay.”

“Separate how?” I feel Audrey's hand on my knee, but still above the blanket.

“It depends on the moment. Do you feel safe with part of you on my lap and part on Audrey's? Is that enough separation for you as well?” Per moves their arm so it supports the back of my head.

“Yes, Per.” I snuggle my face against Per's plaid-shirt covered belly.

Audrey caresses my knee until I look at her face. “Joey, I would like your verbal consent. To hear your sweet words. To hear you confirm that what I want is what you also want.”

I focus on my swallowing, the substantial being of Per with us, underneath me. “Yes or no? That's what I was missing when I was thirteen. No one had told me I had a choice.” I close my eyes to affirm Per's spoken truth inside me. “Audrey, had I told you yet--“

“Yes, I heard your thoughts, love.”

“Please help me find my masculine vulva and vagina. Please touch me in the ways you need to help me affirm that.” I look up at Per. “But Per, please help me put on a chest binder first.” I ease my legs from Audrey's lap and to the floor.

When I pause, Per says, “Look to the floor.”

I turn my head away from Per; a new black chest binder lays on the floor a few feet from us. “A new binder, Per?”

“Something my boy needs, right?” Per grins at me.

“Thanks, Per.” I struggle to sitting upright with Per's hand pushing on my back. My feet touch the floor as I look down to see Per's hands in the air beside my hips. “Yes, help, please, Per.”

Audrey looks at the screen narrating our actions. “So many commas, dear.”

I wrinkle my nose at Audrey before standing with Per's help. I pick up the binder and look into it. “Per! How'd you know my size?”

Audrey snorts. “I told them your size.”

“You've worn binders, right?” Per rests their hands on my shoulders.

“Yes, Per.” I turn the binder inside out and upside down before holding it out and stepping into it. As I tug it into place, I look up at Per's face.

“The compression feels good, doesn't it?” Per moves their shirt collar to show the strap of their own chest binder.

“Definitely!” I push my pecs into place under my binder. “Per, may I please hug you?”

“Sure.” Per holds their arms out wide and I barrel into the embrace, sighing when Per engulfs me in protective pressure. Their fingers press into my skin, but their hands are still.

I hum into their shirt, not quite trying to make words.

“Can I call you my boy?” Per continues to hold me.

I nod against their shirt.

“My boy, did you forget about Audrey?” At my gasp, Per asks, “May I carry you back to the couch?”

“Please.” I turn slightly in Per's embrace just before they position their arms behind my knees and back to lift me. I sniff. “Hmm, is that vertiver?”

“Yes.” I close my eyes and enjoy the movements. I cling to Per's neck as they relaxed down to the couch.

“You feel so good in my arms. Want help returning to your previous position?”

I nod. My stomach muscles clench under the longer, new binder. I've never worn a full length one. The back of my head again rests on Per's arm.

“Does it help that your tummy is covered? To consider your masculine vulva, that is?” Audrey traces her finger through my pubic hair, across the top edge of my vulva. “Does the fuzzy covering make you feel masculine?”

“Too many questions at once, love! I'm not sure what I think of the long binder. And I'm thinking your aroused expression and my interest are helping most with the idea of masculine vulva, my comfort with Per here.”

Audrey pushes lightly into my body. “Wonderfully pliable. I think of times I've gotten to watch you writhe as Shaman played with clothespins.”

“This is your first full length binder? I'll have to see about getting you some more then.” Per brushes their lips over my forehead.

Audrey brushes her fingers over the meeting of my outer labia. “So softly masculine. I'm always so drawn to your labia. You still like that word?”

I groan, huff a breath through my nose. My gaze meets Per's.

“That groan sounded like it could have been a yes. Was it?” Audrey moves her hand from my outer labia to the top of my thigh.

I lift my hand to sign YES.

Audrey tugs at my outer labia. “I think your inner labia might be the most masculine, the way they hang just beyond the outer lips.”

Per strokes my hair. “Still good, my boy?”

“Yes, Per, excellent.” I inhabit Middle and adult at the same time.

“Stroking your inner labia makes me feel so womanly. Do you prefer my fingertip or nail?”

“Your... your finger.” I cough. “But womanly?”

“Let your mind relax. I'm not saying that your body affirms or changes my gender identity. You affirm my feelings of womanliness.” Audrey continues to stroke my inner labia.

I whimper with the growling arousal that prompts my Skene's glands; how ever do I find such medical words arousing? “Mmm, yes.”

“Such strength in these gorgeous muscles.” Audrey traces her fingers around the opening of my vagina, dipping in shallowly in for my arousal. “And strength in your masculine vagina. It's so you, so wonderfully boyish. I love how your boy-pussy grips my fingers when you're coming.”

I brush my fingers over the bottom hem of my new binder. I look at Per's chin. “Yes is yes?”

“Yes.” Per chuckles.

Audrey slides two fingers into my vagina and starts to move them in scissor fashion. Her thumb presses against my bound clitorophallus. “Can you have a little orgasm for me, my sweet man?”

My butt rocks against the couch and Audrey's leg. “Like you so much, Per,” I mumble.

“I like you too, sweet Joey.” Per cups my cheek with one warm hand.

I close my eyes as the pleasure rockets through me, Audrey's suggestive question prepping my body alongside our chat. “Yes, yes, yes!” I focus on her fingers' movements inside me. I squeeze her fingers as my lips part in a long, long moan.

“That's my love.” Audrey presses down on my mons with her other hand, preventing me from pulling away from her touch. As my moan increases in pitch and volume, she slides a third finger into me.

I push up hard against her hands.

“That's right. You can feel all this pleasure as a consenting adult and I'll make us hot chocolate shortly.” Per kisses my nose.

“Yes!” I crash back down onto Audrey, no longer pressing against her hands. “Thanks, thanks, love.” I turn my head into Per's shirt. “Thanks for being here, my new Per.”

“You're welcome.” Per kisses my nose again. “Audrey, will you sure in the hot chocolate?”
​
“Most definitely.” Audrey kisses my mons.

While I loved Kilted Wookie's photo, I wanted to use the 2-week inspiration picture to write a different sort of 2-parter. I often think of the limits in terms of words to express love; we don't have the same specificity as Greek, for instance. So I want to interact with a new character in a way that crosses between 2 WIPs.
-

Audrey sits in a couch she conjured into my mind. “Since you're impatient...”

“I'm not doing what you're hinting at.” I kiss Audrey's cheek.

Audrey plants a quick kiss on my lips. “Blaze, you have some time to join us?”

“Sure. I just put Wally to bed.” Blaze lifted their hand to make a loose braid in their hair. “So the only physical thing you know about me is my long, blue curls, Joey?”

I lick my lips. “Well, I'm not far into your book yet, and one thing you need to know about me is that I prefer to encounter my characters rather than making too many designs for their being beforehand. As well, you don't seem to be reflecting on your body much; I hope that doesn't reflect my limited understanding of asexuality.”

Audrey pats my hand. “Blaze, do you mind if I cuddle Joey?”

Blaze shakes their head and Audrey spreads her legs so I can sit there, relaxing back into her warmth.

“How much does a body mean? I'm serious. When relationship, when interaction isn't of a sexual, body-joining nature, what does a body's configuration mean?” I study Blaze. My mind and hope repeatedly jump to Audrey's create a Caregiver and wait for them to come to you as I did. “In describing your body, do I risk designing you to my whims?”

Audrey wraps her arms around my middle and gives me a gentle squeeze. “Am I always exactly who you want me to be?”

“Okay. I get your point, love.” I wrap my hands over hers. “But it does seem now like I'm jumping to the impatience you accused me of.”

“How about we reframe this as me being a matchmaker?”

Blaze laughs. “A matchmaker extraordinaire you are.” They lean forward to touch the couch beside my knee.

I cough. “I don't want re-parented, but parented differently.”

Blaze's hazel eyes glow for a moment when I manage to meet them. “I think I have an idea of your meaning.”

“You might touch my knee... Per.” I feel my throat move with my nervous swallowing. Long, thin fingers touch the skin on my naked knee. “Uh, shouldn't I put clothes on if I'm supposed to be, like, 12?”

“There's teens at nudist recreation thing. How about I get you a blanket?” After my nod, Blaze grasps my Batman blanket and eases it down over me. “There you are.” They sat back down in their chair. “Consider please, was your anxiety as you think a pre-teen would act or think back to your own difficult time then?”

“Both. Like, you aren't my Per, really. We've just started to get to know each other.”

“But did you feel this level of distrust when you were chronologically this age?” Audrey brushes my hair back from my face.

“No, it was to start building though.”

“Might I sit on the couch beside you both?” Blaze eases themself back against their chair.

“Yes, please.” I giggle. “I always wrinkle my nose when I see people say that online about guys and kinky stuff they like.”

“But I think in this case that it was a cute response.” Blaze sits on the far end and turns to face us; I turn on Audrey's lap, my legs dangling over hers. “So I can see all the My Little Pony and Jelly Belly stuff, WW2. And all your books. Did I get most of your special interests?”

“Yes. Uh.” I look around for a stuffie. I don't care if I'm supposed to be too old for stuffies! “Audrey, where's Audrey dolly?”

“You mean this doll?” Blaze points at where Audrey dolly has appeared on the couch beside their hip. “She's very pretty, maybe just like her namesake?”

“Such a flatterer.” Audrey tugs on the neck of her shirt as I hold out my hand for Audrey dolly. “Joey doesn't like his dolly to be cleaned.”

“He, him are your pronouns?”

“Yes.” I swallow. “Per.”

Blaze smiles with gentle upward curves at each edge of their mouth. “This isn't some D/s play where you have to force a title before you feel comfortable with it, with me.” Our hands touch as Audrey dolly moves from their hand to mine. “My pronouns are they, them. Do you understand the concept of gender identity?”

“Yup. Like I'm a transgender demiboy. I was assigned female at birth, but I don't feel female most of the time. Like someone recently talked about a feminine penis, I see myself as having a masculine vulva and vagina. Although I don't feel the need to give either of those parts a different name, like some trans men and non-binary people.”

“Although we are working on pecs for your chest.” Audrey traces her finger over my collarbone.

“Pecs is such a wonderful term. It was one of the first terms that helped me with my own gender pondering. Would you like to hear what identity term feels right to me?”

I nod eagerly.

“Non-binary and genderfluid.”

I feel my face stretch as I can't control my smile. “Those were words I used for myself as I was trying to things out.”

“Yes, figuring out oneself is good.”

I tilt my head back to look at Audrey's face. I scrunch up my forehead, hoping she understands my expression.

“Wanna move closer or invite them to?” Audrey kisses my forehead.

​“Move. Us, move.”

UPDATE to add link to the second part of this.

So I was going to write from the inspiration picture, but then I found myself being warned for being too negative when I started talking about my special interests. You see, if you haven't already figured out as a reader of my blog, I'm Autistic and I commonly write neurodivergent characters; if you don't know what that means, it's basically "people who have a different neurotype and often think differently" that includes people who are Autistic, have other cognitive issues, schizophrenics, ADHD for example. Being warned felt like the equivalent of being told that I'm not welcome.

To say the least, I wasn't able to get back into my piece from the picture... I had this revenege fantasy brewing in my head where my Master'd fuck my face and then come on my parents' "Just for show" Christmas tree. Because yes, my parents have long had 2 Christmas trees, although I wouldn't know because I kicked their toxic asses out of my life. At least as much as my Master and therapist have helped me.

but please enjoy this. Not over the top smutty, but I hope still sweet and sexy. And not really edited either. I wrote it in Weebly's creator so you all would get to read it.
--

Audrey takes me by the hand. "Yes, that's a lovely picture. Let's go on and take a shower. You're still too wound. We'll watch Milk together."

I close the toilet lid and sit down while Audrey fusses with our shower. I smile when she droppes two shower fizzies. Socks and Shaman's sweatshirt find themselves on the floor.

After a few moments, Audrey pulls back the curtain a bit. "Come on, love."

I step into the tub and step forward. My head tilts forward when Audrey brushes her soft lips against my neck.

"There you are, baby boy." She continues to kiss my neck before she begins to rub my shoulders. "Jelly Bellies have four calories a bean."

"Adolph Eichmann wasn't captured until the '60s, in Argentina," I respond.

"Sobibor was an extermination concentration camp."

She traces her finger over my spine. "While stories don't agree, Marsha P. Johnson was likely among the first rioters at Stonewall in 1968."

I gasp in pleasure as my mind swirls. "The rioting went on for three nights."

"From the newly merged Unitarian Universalist church came some of the white activists who supported Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the other black activists in Selma, Alabama. Including three men who were injured, one fatally so." She continues rubbing my shoulders as she presses her teeth against the nape of my neck.

I shudder and press my hands against the shower wall. I sigh as her hands move from my shoulders to my hips. "Less than a wooden duck."

Her hard cock slips between my asscheeks. "You have an excess of Pinkie Pies in your collection, over 10."

"We need to watch Flags of Our Fathers together after Milk. We also need to read your book Shaman got your for the section about Imperial Japan as you know less about that war theatre than you do the European or African theatre."

The pulses of pleasure dance through my body with Audrey's responses and her stroking. "Bodies containing ovaries, uteruses-or is it uteri- and vaginas also usually have two wonderful glands that are involved in arousal fluid production. The Skene's and Bartholen's glands." The orgasm tightens in my nipples and my vagina.

"Goregeous pecs." She brushes her lips against my neck as the tip of her cock slides just above my crack and her cum sprays onto my lower back. "Well regulated militia."
I press my ass back agaist my beloved Audrey. "Can you sleep with me tonight?"

"Yes, love."

"Love you too, sweet Audrey." I turn into her embrace as the water washes over us.