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I lost my way. Seriously... study and learning and sleeping and... writing? I'm still reading and writing but it's slow going. While I have privilege and personality that's made this pandemic less difficult in many ways for me. My sweet emotional support dog, Honey sleeping in her bed in my room in the picture below, has very much enjoyed me on the couch, whether I'm being productive or not.
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 Because I'm a dork, I forgot I wrote this and wrote something for #Masturbationonday on 8/13/2018, meaning you'll get this experimental piece the week after it was meant for. But it's stlll good to fap to, right? :D --- I go to Pornhub. I select “Categories- Gay Men- Fetish.” I struggled into my chest binder; I should have said that already. Clicking on mute. I just need to see. A large ass as black as coal dances as if waiting for something; I click on that video. Once the video loads enough, it becomes visible that a large black man is bound on a light blue hospital-style bed. His naked skin shimmers in the muted light. I reach behind me to grab some of the coconut oil lube. “That's a good boy. Going plug your asshole before rubbing your bound clitorophallus?” The Queen's icy blue eyes appear on the screen of my mind. From a simple doorway comes another large black man, his nipples appearing dark purple against his chest skin, a rosy mahogany. His lips move; the bound man's hips move in response. The lighter-skinned man brings his hand down on the bound man's ass; he stills his writhing. I rub lube on the smaller butt plug and The Queen gently inserts it into me. My breath catches in my throat at the slight stretch in my asshole. Physically, in the moment, I relax my left arm down once the flange sits against my cheeks. The man walks away from the table and pulls a rolling racks holding up a hot water bottle and tubing. He rubs where he'd just smacked that ass. He releases the rack and grabs a bottle of lubricant from a nearby table. The Queen holds the lube container and I grab some more. My fingers speed between my legs. He rubs the cheek he hadn't smacked for a moment before pulling the gorgeous cheeks apart. The camera pulls in close to show the detail of the lube dripping from the bottle onto the needy, waiting asshole. Then a finger wearing a pale green glove pressed on the asshole, pushing just in. More lube. The finger goes in deeper. “Boy, boy, boy. My boy. My dirty little boy.” “Or are you my girl tonight? Or maybe just a little gender-less being for me to fuck?” I pant; I'm so close to coming. Enema. The Queen's teasing. “Boy,” I gasp. In and out. More lube. The finger goes into the asshole all the way to base of the finger. The hand disappears from the shot. “Tomorrow night, how about I give you an enema? Bound or unbound?” My toes curl at his suggestion. “Or maybe Audrey could take care of her little love?” The bound man writhes against the table as much as the straps allow. When part of the table starts to move, forcing his legs farther apart, his massive balls come into view. My hips shoot up, lifting part of me off the bed. Carrying a long, semi-stiff tube, the gloved hand returns to the shot. One hand presses on the bound man's back as the other works first the tip of the tube and then more. “Yes, yes, yes!” I hiss, dropping the pretense that my masturbating is a secret in my household. A moment later, slightly off-white liquid starts through the tube. Watching the bound man move as the enema solution infiltrates his colon and rectum, the orgasm explodes in my clit and my feet curl against the comforter. Some stand up comedian said that women watch porn movies to the end to see if they get married. Not this agender, AFAB person; I watch them until I come.
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