How I see things: Often I find my perspective is rather different than other people's. My stories aren't heterosexual, even if it appears to be a man and woman engaged in some interaction. "Sex" to me isn't just "penis goes into vagina." My focus is polyamorous and queer. Gender and sexual orientations and presentations are individual to any given character. Behavior also doesn't predict or determine gender or sexuality- I may appear a heterosexual, monogamously married woman, but I'm queer and polyamorous. What is humiliating to one person isn't necessarily humiliating in general. We need to look past taboos and consider the human interaction in any kink. Naming, especially when a person takes a new name because of some factor in her/his/hir life, is a sacred thing. The Queen, from Vala's story, doesn't care about the fact that a queen is usually a female; it's doesn't determine his gender identity- he is a cisgender man who uses he/him/his pronouns.