​I'm going to be all sorts of rambly. It's been way too long since I posted. And well it's National novel writing month so I'm thinking with lots of words LOL.
Talking to my friend at bayonet press and looking at when books can come out. You'd like to read something more for me wouldn't you? ​

First I'm going to share with you all something I tweeted: “#AmWriting #transgender #TransMan #MasturbationMonday Sigh, I keep finding any reason I can to not finish this piece. @KaylaLords can you recommend I should be done so you can read it next week? LOL”

Working with Pekka, my transgender man who has had some gender confirming surgeries, I struggled to figure out the point of this scene. Inspired by JerBear's picture in week 236, I finally pushed through to what I found was a good ending late on Monday the 15th. Too much life happening, too much stress. But this is good. I even want to share it with my therapist.
--
Pekka rubbed the cocoa butter over the still healing area of his thigh where the surgeon had taken the skin graft for his phalloplasty. No more stitches, just tender skin.


He squeezed more lotion over his thigh. Some trickled between his legs. His palm slipped over his scrotum, that part of his body he worked to feel a part of him. His skin against skin felt good. He worked the pump within, made to feel as testicles.

“My Lady wanted me to grow used to this on my own,” he reminded himself aloud. After a few tentative pumps, he grew more comfortable. Once his neo-phallus stood erect, he squeezed more lotion onto his hand. He palmed his cock. Sucking in a breath, he focused on the sensations from his palm and phallus.

“This is me. All of me, even the surgical creations are still me.” His other hand moved to his chest, finger slipping over his nipples one at a time. He looked out his window in a small area between his scarlet drapes. He left off caressing his nipples to touch the puckered skin from his top surgery.

“I have become more me, but what does that mean?” He coughed. “I feel as I want to, inside and outside.” He cleared his mind before he continued his exploratory caresses. The sandalwood incense wafted over him. He left off touching his chest to wrap that hand around the base of his cock. With soft, even breaths, he relaxed into pleasant sensations. He groaned as a clitoral-like orgasm burst within him. “No limits, my Lady says.” His hand traveled up to the tip of his neo-phallus, his lips pulling upward into a smile at his cock lacking the slicing that would have made him look circumcised, unlike his beautiful domme. He grasped the base of his cock with both hands. His mouth caught in a wide circle as his hands suddenly felt slick. “Yes,” he whispered as the health of his Skene's glands made themselves knows. He paused with his hand clutching the round tip of his penis. “This won't be like a single cis-penis orgasm.”

A gust of warm air from the heater vent sent his drapes fluttering.

He grabbed for the warming lotion beside what he'd started with. Slicking his hand, he started rubbing his shaft faster. The friction made his hips thrust into the air. He grasped his inner thigh. “Can't grab my testicles. Could break the pump.” His toes pushed down into his bed and he fell flat a moment later. He let go of his inner thigh and grabbed the base of his cock again. He worked his hand in circles around it as he stroked again with the other. Crying out, he jerked against the bed and pounded his foot against the wall. His eyelids fluttered as the pleasure released throughout him. “Do I keep going?” He stilled with his hands on his cock. “This neo-phallus isn't just for penetrating others. I can feel pleasure on my own.”

The door opened and Lady Audrey leaned against the doorjamb. “Enjoying yourself, my boy?”

“It's amazing, my Lady. I'm so grateful you ordered me to try this.” Pekka stopped stroking his cock.

“Do you not want me to watch?”

“Um... I don't know, my Lady.” He frowned. “It's not like I can ejaculate, even if I'm managing some natural lubricant.”

“Lover, I'm bisexual. You think the only thing I enjoy seeing is a cock spewing cum?” She grinned as she moved to the foot of his bed. “I heard you kick the wall, during one orgasm, I guess.”

Pekka nodded and began to stroke his penis again. Moments later, he stopped again.

“Can I cuddle you?”

“Yes, please, my Lady. I think I'm done for now, unless you wanna order more.”

Lady Audrey lay down beside Pekka. “No order, my dear boy. I love you.”

“I love you, my Lady.” He rested his head on her chest and released the air from his neo-phallus. “Thank you, my Lady.”

I had a moment on Facebook, trying to figure out some words for this scene based on Iven being a trans man who's had some gender confirming surgeries and not others. Remember that he's wearing a sports chest binder in this scene because he hasn't had what's commonly thought of as “top surgery” or bilateral mastectomy and male chest construction.
Click here to read part 1 first.
-

“Plans, my Lady?” Iven's throat moved with his swallowing.

“Yes.” Audrey crawled onto the bed and came to kneel between his spread legs. “I want to enjoy my boy. You still want to be my boy, right?”

“Yes, my Lady. Your boy.”

With the tip of her tongue, she traced a line from his belly button to the bottom hem of his binder.

“My Lady,” he groaned as his cock grew hard against her thigh.

“That's my boy,” she rasped. “Does the pressure of my leg across your cock feel that good?”

“Yes, my Lady.” He lifted his hips to press harder against her. “Do I... beg?”

“Beg to come? Of course you do, but you can't be that close just yet?” She crawled backward until she could rest her chin--balls, he wants them called balls, even if he didn't get scrotoplasty—on his balls. She brushed one fingernail up his cock.

“So sensitive, my Lady,” he whimpered.

“I like to hear that.” She sucked his cock into her mouth. Breathing in through her nose, she listened for his sounds. The feel of his cock made her own get harder. He's holding back, but his hips want to move. My handsome boy.

“My Lady, my Lady!”

She pressed her hands underneath his ass and lifted him closer. She pulled back slightly, until just the glans rested on her tongue. Her heart pounded in her ears as his legs pushed against hers. She pressed her thumbs into his hips.

“Yes, my Lady.” He moaned hoarsely and thrust upward so she took his cock back into her mouth to the root. “Oh, my Lady.” His head rocked against the pillows. “I didn't mean to. Um. Feels, feels...” He coughed and then groaned.

Grabbing and then squeezing his hand, she sucked harder on his cock. Need that in me. She pulled all the way off him with her lips just touching the head. “I want to spank you now. Then I want to feel you in my ass, let you fuck me until we both come.”

“Please, my Lady.” Iven's toes curled into the comforter again.

She tumbled away from him on her bed and placed her feet on the carpet.

Without a further order from her, he dashed across the space to lay himself across her thighs, his cock coming to settle between them.

“That's my good boy.” She brushed her fingers over his asscheeks. “Which of my wants are you more eager for?”

He mewled behind closed lips.

“A, B, or C, boy. Unless you want a punishment more than B,” she teased.

“B, but it makes me feel greedy to say, my Lady.”

“Good boy, answering and explaining your answer. What have we talked about with wants?” She dropped three spanks on his cheeks, her tongue moving against the back of her teeth at the delightful sting on her hand.

Releasing a held breath after the last spank, he replied, “Wants are fine to have. It's only in violating someone's consent to get those wants is there any reason for negativity. My Lady.”

“Yes, good boy.” She spanked him several more times, one cheek, the other cheek, across the middle over his crack, without counting. Her balls pulsed hot with pleasure as he writhed against her. “Good boy, staying hard during your spanking.”

“Thanks, my Lady.” His hips thrust his ass up to meet her hand.

She pushed him to the bed and scrambled up to grab the anal lube. Squirting out a bunch, she spread some over her asshole before returning to him. The lube resting on her palm, she stroked his cock until it glistened.

“My Lady, please, my Lady!” He rocked against the bed with abandon.

“Come on, boy! Up on the bed so we can spoon.” She pulled him by his hair until they were up at the head of the bed. Spreading her asscheeks with one hand, she ordered, “Do me!” Sighing, she enjoyed the pressure of his cock at her entrance before he started pushing into her. “That's my boy.” She grunted with pleasure when he touched her hip. “Reach around and stroke my cock, boy.”

“Yes, my Lady,” he replied between gritted teeth.

Her muscles clamped down on his cock. “Just like that.”

“Thank you, my Lady. I never imagined it could feel this good!” He pounded into her as his hand slipped up and down her cock, his thumb pushing down her foreskin when he went up over the glans.

This was the right choice for him, and fuck, does his cock feel good! She grabbed his hand off her cock and licked his palm before wrapping him around her cock again. “I want you to feel good and come, boy. No begging now. I just wanna know when you come.”

“Yes, yes, yes! Thanks, my Lady!” His thumb slipped over her glans in the way that drove her crazy. “Thank you. Unh!” His hand slid down to the base of her cock, his little finger sliding over her balls.

“Thant's right! Come for me. Come inside me!” Her cum shot out of her onto the bed as he groaned behind her. Her face fell forward onto the pillow. So good. My good boy. Used the right language, even coming. That's my handsome boy. She pulled an extra blanket over them. “We'll go take a soak shortly, good boy. Thank you for sharing your first post-op sexual experience with me.”

“You're welcome and thanks for allowing it, my Lady.” He kissed the nap of her neck and pressed closer to her.

Looking at Elliot's wonderful picture led me to a thought of a character I haven't worked with in awhile. Sure, it's only been a few weeks since you've seen Audrey (if you regularly read my #MasturbationMonday posts), but I wanted to consider Iven's cock (and genitals) since Kayla mentioned that we “were a little low on cocks.” Well if you know me, that's practically an invitation for me to work with transgender and/or non-binary characters.
--
Audrey held the car door open for Iven. “Get in, my sweet boy.”

“Thanks, my Lady.” With careful movements, Iven settled himself into the passenger seat of Audrey's car.

She slipped into the driver's seat and revved the engine before easing out of the parking spot. “Any thoughts about what the doctor had to say?”

“I'm so glad she said I'm all healed, my Lady. Not having to be as careful about heavy lifting? I'm still unsure about my decision not to have my vagina closed or the procedure where they make it possible for me to pee standing.”

She reached beyond the car console separating them to pat his knee. “Can you put your finger on what's causing your uncertainty, lover?”

Iven laughed. “Lover? Okay, if you like calling me that, my Lady. I don't know. Maybe I'm unsure what it means to me to be a man, since it's not like our culture gives me much valuable guidance.”

“I find you to be an entirely gorgeous man, if that helps.”

“Thanks, my Lady.” He dragged his bright pink tongue over his lips. “My Lady, the doctor did say I'm ready for genital-based sexuality, at least from a physical perspective.”

“Yup.” She grabbed a look out the corner of her eye to see his hopeful expression. “Would you like to spend some time in my bed this afternoon since you're still off work?”

“I would like that very much, please, my Lady.”

She dropped a quick kiss on his cheek. “Rest your eyes and we'll enjoy my bed as soon as we get home.”

-

Iven stood at the doorway to Lady Audrey's bedroom. His heart seemed to pound in his ears.

As she pulled down the comforter and flat sheet, Lady Audrey watched him.

“I hadn't had any gender confirming surgeries yet, the last time I was in your bed, my Lady.” He brushed his fingers over his thigh. So glad no phalloplasty meant no skin graphs.

She nodded. “Are you feeling better in your body?”

“Very much. Thank you for all your help with it, my Lady.” Why is she treating me like it's my first day as a sub?

“Strip and place your hands on your neck,” she ordered.

He yanked off his sweats and shirt before tossing them toward her hamper. One foot at a time, he stepped on the toes of his socks and pulled his foot out. He sucked in a deep breath and held it with his fingers inside the waistband of the red boxer briefs Lady Audrey had bought him. With a shake of his head, he released the held air and pushed the underwear down his body. I picked the correct procedures for my comfort. I like the way my body looks now. Her low moan drew his gaze up to her face.

“Should we have renegotiated things before you stripped?” she growled.

“No, my Lady. We've already worked through new language I find comfy and I'm all healed. I'm excited to see if and how I appreciate your touch even more 'cause I like my body this way.”

“Was the pause in removing your underwear about worries on what I'd think of your cock size?”

He swallowed hard as he followed his hands against his neck. “Yes, my Lady. I like it, until I'm reminded about how small I am in comparison.”

“To other guys' cocks? Or to mine in specific?”

“Um, in general, I think, my Lady.” He tightened his fingers' interlacing.

“Do you need to put on your sports binder to feel comfortable?”

“Please, my Lady!”

“Go do it and then resume position!”

Iven ran to his room, nabbed his tan-colored sports binder from its spot in the drawer, before he pulled it up his body. Adjusting his breasts so they were compressed better, he tried to slow his breathing. He returned to her bedroom with more controlled steps.

“There. You feel better?”

“Yes, thanks, my Lady. My offer still stands if you wanna get top surgery.”

“I know, my Lady.”

“Rearrange the pillows and blankets so you can lay in the middle of my bed, be comfortable, able to breathe.”

“Yes, my Lady.” Iven ran across the carpet and slid on his stomach up her bed. The pressure of his cock pressed against the comforter zinged pleasurably through him. He rose to his knees and piled two pillows together against the headboard. Releasing his breath, he then pulled as much oxygen as he could in his binder. Good thing it's just the sports binder. He lowered his body back flat before turning over and resting from his shoulders up on the pillow.

“Very good, my boy. I have some plans for you.”
--

​Maybe I'm too much in a noveling space (finishing up work on a novel WIP during Camp Nanowrimo as I put together this post), but as you can see, this is already like 800 words and there is no genital-based sex. Audrey says you need to come back next week for part 2.

Please forgive any messed up details- I tried for *cramp pain relief in the form of Mike's Hard Lemonade* and while I'm certainly too drunk to drive, I'm still going to write because Pilo keeps babbling at me, well drawing mental pictures for me of what they would like. I warned them that I'm drunk enough that I might mess up their pronouns; they've forgiven me in advance. And yes, again a content warning of anatomy and gender words that might make some uncomfortable. Also I'm amused to give you something to read with no penises present when the penis was such a focal point in the inspiration picture this week.

"It's been fifteen minutes. You can lower the sun umbrella now." Pilo looked to Johnnie's face, even as his gaze nervously tripped up and down their body. "Johnnie?"

Johnnie yanked his gaze to their handsome face.

"There. You encouraged me to undress since we're alone. What of you?"

"Where'd your shyness go?" Johnnie countered.

"It's just the two of us with our bodies outside conventional understanding."

Pulling the umbrella closed, he placed on the grass beside their blanket before turning onto his side. When they raised their arm, he snuggled against them. Their chest with its mixture of softness and strength made a pillow. He fitted his boy-pussy against their thigh.

"You are worthy of feeling good," they said.

"As are you," he replied. "We are both worthy of orgasm, even if our bodies don't mimic the cishet idea of *penis spewing semen into a vagina*."

Their arm tightened around him. "Pleasure for pleasure's sake?"

"Does it give you pleasure when I touch you like this?" His fingers brushed against their lower chest, their upper stomach.

"Yes." They cupped the back of his head with one hand. Releasing a gasp, they looked down at his finger going up and down, up and down, but not heading toward any traditional erogenous zone. His bicep slid against their skin as his fingers came in contact with the inside of their right elbow. A loud moan dripped from their lips.

He pressed his face against their neck and his inhales pushed hot air across their skin. "You smell like watermelon."

"The sun block. I am all too fair, like a pot of cream or a baked Alaska with my tons of birth marks." They sighed. "Your pants feel so good. I've never felt such pleasure with another person, let alone my own touch." Their hand slid to the nap of his neck, under the scruff of his curls.

Responding to the urging touch, he lifted his lips and pressed them to their parted light pink petals of whimpers. His tongue moved over the seam until it opened farther and a tentative burst of their tongue encouraged him to deepen his kiss.

They struggled at tired cliches that tried to explain the burst of gratification they felt from the top of their head to the tips of their toes, feet stretched out and wriggling in the grass. Their eyes met his as the release and the kiss continued. Both hands shot around his shoulders as they clung to him. Defying everything every horrible doctor had either said or merely left unsaid but known, they shuddered against him. They closed their eyes and pulled their lips from his. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

"You are so welcome."

"Your masculinity doesn't prevent me from giving back as much as you've given me?"

He tilted his head back, his chin in the air. "Uh... no."

"Because you allowed me to touch--"

"My boy-pussy," he supplied into their silence.

"Your boy-pussy in the shower, I hope that I might get to enjoy the extra lesson I got from the nice nurse." With his small nod, they dug into the bag for a dental dam and the warming lubricant they had found at the drug store.

"And because I... don't feel dysphoria... there." He coughed as they shook out the dam and dripped the oil on one pale blue side. He placed his feet on the blanket, his knees falling apart. His hips moved in time with their questing fingers.

They brushed out the latex with gentle strokes, delighting at their heat coming through even the thicker than a condom barrier. Leaning in, they flicked their tongue against his flesh.

"Unh, unh!" He trembled and grasped their shoulders. "Too fast."

Lifting their head, they asked, "Too fast what?"

"Came... too fast."

They sucked on him, pulling the tender flesh wrapped in blueberry-flavored protection into their mouth.

"Yes! Yes!" His hips thrust up and they shoved their hand underneath to grasp his soft asscheeks. His fingers pressed into their skin. "Thank you!"

Wearing a soft smile, they lowered him to the blanket. "Let's be close awhile and then we might see what else they gave us."

"Sure." He again cuddled to their side and closed his eyes as the sun pleasantly warmed their skin.

I'm thinking I may be closer to approximating something that looks like sexual activity people are more used to from this hope :D But I did another dalliance, another tease this week as it seemed that Pilo and Johnnie were just ready for this much. Hopefully next week's inspiration picture gives me a thought too.

Pilo held Johnnie's hands in theirs. "You don't have to prove anything to me."

Johnnie squeezed Pilo's hands. "I'd say the same to you."

They walked further into the field until the grass flattened out. Tugging on their hiking pack's straps, they stopped. "I like it here. You?"

He helped them slide the heavy pack off and to the ground. Opening the bag, he chuckled. "You didn't have to go out of your way to make this an Iranian picnic."

"I wanted to experiment and maybe learn more about your heritage," they protested. On the flattest patch of ground, they arranged a white bottle of kefir followed by plastic take out containers of falafel, humus, and pita. "I remembered correct that you are vegetarian?"

"Yes, thanks." He pulled out the heavy blanket and spread it across the scrub grass. Lowering himself onto the red fabric, he then tilted his head back and their gazes met. "Thanks." Hands connecting again, he helped them onto the blanket beside him.

They straightened their faux silk slacks. Breathing in deeply, they closed their eyes to appreciate the warmth of the sun. His lips touched their cheek and moved away before they could open their eyes.

"Falafel?" he asked, his voice so calming with their eyes closed.

"Please." The next moment, a pleasantly warm ball popped between their lips. Finally opening their eyes, they smiled at him around chewing.

"So we have our supplies from Planned Parenthood," he began, his tone almost making it a question. They nodded and he continued, "And you are sure that you want to do this? Too."

Their eyes open this time, he leaned in to kiss their cheek; their throat moved with their swallowing, pushing the last of the falafel down. They held in a whimper when his lips pressed against theirs. When he pulled back, they murmured, "The scar tissue is too thick for me to feel anything."

He took a sip from his glass of kefir. "Might I ask how you've tested this?" He kissed their neck just below their earlobe. "You seem to be enjoying everything else I've done."

"I didn't feel anything, not even pain, when I lost my virginity."

Clearing his throat, he fed them a fingerful of humus. His finger retreating from their mouth, he said, "I don't think a hetero-sexist notion of virginity helps with either of our diverse bodies." He kissed lower on their neck.

"When I had sex with a seemingly typical guy that one time, I didn't feel anything between my legs," they said.

"Do you feel you're worthy of pleasure?" He pressed a closed mouthed kiss to their rounded chin.

"Your interest in me makes me feel worthy."

He traced his fingers over the shoulder of their tank top. "Mind if I get comfy naked since we're far enough away from any paths?"

They nodded and scooped some humus with a triangle of pita. Chewing, the lowered their gaze as if not wanting to stare at him grabbing the bottom hem of his forest green tank and lifting it off his torso. Their toes curling in their cotton bags of shoes, their gaze dropped to his waistband.

"Soon enough," he said.

Click here to enjoy the lovely inspiration picture Kayla shared and the other people sharing their lovely bit for the #MasturbationMonday hop!

Something about the picture drew me to continue with Johnnie and Pilo (part 1 here). Now I've learned it's a myth that doctors surgically make more babies with intersex bodies "into girls"; it is possible to surgically make indeterminate genitals into a penis and testicles depending on what's there. I mean, we're talking about babies, not the chronological adults you'll see on my page. I still haven't gone to any of the pages I've studied to figure out what *disorder* (to use the medical term that many people with intersex bodies hate, but is correct in the medical model) might have caused Pilo's intersex *condition* (yes, another word disliked by intersex activists).

--

Pilo pulled Johnnie's bottom lip into their mouth and sucked. They grasped his ass with both hands. Smiling even as they kissed him, their tongue moved to mute his groans. A pulse of pleasure teased at their belly. Fingers pulling his asscheeks apart, they fitted their smooth bodies together.

The candle on the vanity sputtered, but wax moved and the flame resumed its previous strength.

"Funny how I think smooth, but you are not so smooth. This wonderful, wonderful hair." They rubbed their mound against Johnnie's pubic hair.

He gasped. "Please, please." Tightening his legs, the water made him feel unsteady as he quivered.

"I cannot wait to enjoy you more. Maybe we can go to Planned Parenthood together after food?"

"Yes. Gloves and dams and more so we're ready." He kissed them after his words fell away. Leaning his head against the shower wall, his breaths came in pants through his flared nostrils.

Pushing their legs together so their captive bead rested on their clit, they enjoyed the minimum pleasure they could there. "I should say--"

He relinquished their mouth to murmur, "You already hinted at what those awful surgeons did. We will have to learn where else in your body you feel pleasure. Your lips and mouth work just fine."

"I knew I did right saying yes for a change." They drew him back into the kiss, reassured of his respect for their nonbinary-ness. Their hands slid into, over his black buzz cut. Eyelids sliding closed, they focused on his kiss and taking careful steps as he guided them under the shower head. Like electricity, arousal moved over their skin with the water. A sob escaped their lips as he kissed his way down their jaw and then to their neck. They tilted their head just so to find Johnnie's carbon black eyelashes against his upper cheeks as he caressed their skin.

"Wish more could see how gorgeous you are," he murmured against their skin.

They clung to his shoulders. "Knowing you see it is more than enough for me."

"I want to explore you from top to bottom until you feel as good as you make me."

"Do we need tests more than barriers?"

He shook his head. "Both." Reaching around them, he quickly turned off the water. "You make me not want to wait. Let's eat and go get some latex before we violate our ethics."

"I'm allergic to latex." They frowned.

"PP must have other options." He grabbed a rust red-colored towel from a shelf and wrapped it around their shoulders. Kissing them hard on the lips, he moved the towel down their back as the shudders worked from his hips to his knees. As if the separation hurt, he grimaced while stepping back to dry their chest, the sloping plain of muscle so like a paler version of his own. "Grilled cheese, PP, and cuddle."

"Sounds good." They led his towel covered hands between their legs. "I'm not very sensitive there, but it hurts when anything gets caught on the jewelry." Sniffing, they licked their lips. "The captive bead reminds me of what the doctors stole."

"My dear Pilo, at least they didn't take the chance for us to meet or your handsome green eyes." Johnnie accepted the towel from Pilo and dried himself off. "How about Blue is the Warmest Color after PP?"

"And cuddles? I'd like that."

This inspiration picture just isn't speaking to me. So I'm trying to write in between morning worship and CLF worship that was recorded and shared on Facebook and the last of the General Business meetings and the closing ceremonies of General Assembly; yes, if you're not a UU that whole first part of the sentence was largely meaningless to you. But I am a UU and today is the last day of our annual General Assembly. I only get to see the stuff that gets Livestreamed; as I snarked at my Master "This is the closest I'll ever get to GA so please let me enjoy it."

I'm working away on "Two Houses" even though we still have a few days before Camp Nano begins; Vala's Story is mostly just thoughts as I wait on beta readers. Between conversation in UU stuff about appropriation and activity in the Multicultural GLBTQ group I'm in on Facebook, thoughts kept trying to become a story.

A comment, in working with different genders, presentations, and bodies other than the cisgender men and women many expect, I may use words that aren't good for everyone, words that may be new and incomprehensible to some.

"What color would you say I am?" Johnnie asked Pilo as they cuddled with their ass pressed back against his boy-pussy.

"Um, brown?" Pilo clasped Johnnie's naked calf; they traced their fingers over the smooth skin beneath his knee, thinking how it reminded them of a cardboard box. And they felt safe.

"The US government says I'm white."

Pilo led Johnnie's hand to their lips and started to kiss their way from fingertips to wrist before pausing to say, "The government also says that my gender is female because that's what surgeons tried to make of my genitals that confused them when I was born."

Johnnie kissed Pilo's neck just beneath the fringe of black curls. "We don't have to be what the government says though?"

Leaning into Johnnie's kissing, Pilo moaned, "Yes. We are what we know we are." They released their arm that had been cupping what would have been breasts if they'd allowed doctor pressure to push them onto the surgery table again, releasing the hand to clasp his other knee. "You sure?"

"As sure as I was when I met your beautiful green eyes across the coffee house." He pressed his lips to their cheek. "Does this mean you've changed your mind on cuddling? We don't have to push into anything we and our bodies aren't ready for."

"No, I want to imagine what it might be when we know each better, have access to the barriers we'd like until STIs can be tested for. I like how you shivered when our fingers first touched. Your curls make me think of how soft and yet strong your lips are, the finest mixture of gendered expectations."

"Please say boy-pussy again. It sounds so good with your accent," he murmured.

"Boy-pussy," they responded, their muddled southern European accent lengthening pussy until the pronunciation was as good as a sex act.

"Yes." He hugged their waist. "You will be worth the wait."

"How about that shower?" They traced their fingers over his shins. When he was quiet several long minutes, they rose to stand between his legs. "Well?"

"Sure." He scooted back a bit before standing in front of them. Taking their hand, he led them into his apartment's small bathroom. He slowly lifted his tank top.

"I'm glad to see you were able to get the top surgery you wanted." They brushed their fingertips over the light scars a few inches below his mahogany dark nipples. Smiling, they let their gaze slide down his stomach as he released the short's button, the fabric slid down his shapely legs. His abundant pubic hair made them lick their lips.

He moved into his shower to turn on the water.

They slipped the straps of their babydoll dress of their shoulders, one at a time, before pushing it and their silk shorts to the tile floor; he looked over his shoulder and bit his bottom lip. "Thanks." Stepping out of their clothes, they moved into the shower stall behind him.

"Can I please hug you again?" He held out his hands toward them.

They took his hands and led them around their waist. "Worth it," they whispered against his neck.

"Yes." He gasped and shuddered.

With a soft kiss to his parted lips, they guided him under the water and held him as the tremors eased into stillness again.

To enjoy the other #MasturbationMonday hoppers, click here

So I sent "Backward Dating" to one BR- I still need to touch bases with the wheelchair user who offered to read. I amused myself by creating chapter and giving them names, but not trying for any sort of average word count in them; this is after all my book and if I'm not writing for a more mainstream press, would you expect something mainstream from me? :D That leads me to the announcement of Cuil Press- currently in the creation phase. Cuil Fiction- a term coined by Michon Neal and explained by hir here in a video (and make sure to turn up your volume to hear Michon; ze is quiet)- intersectional, inclusive, mind expanding (those are just some words that come to my mind when I think of Cuil Fiction). This will go through the special to Cuil Press step of "sensitivity editing"- Michon explains the process ze does here. We're hoping this book will be ready for publication by July.

I debated what sort of snippet to share this week, after all I have a polyamorous-v in this story. Arguing that it's more than a matter of semantics, but of identity, having three people engaging in a specific form of non-monogamy has me considering all sorts of things- even "the word menage is getting on my nerves." But I finally decided to go with a snippet of Ocean being a little bit dommy with Naveed on the day they meet.

---
Naveed pressed his hands against his wheelchair's armrests.

So much pain. I wish I could give him something to smile about. "So I'm the hinge?" Ocean grinned at Naveed.

"It would seem with Suvi being monogamous." Naveed sighed. "Sorry, I'm trying to be less prickly. The only reason I got to come here this year was winning my badge from a website. I'm not even sure where I'm sleeping tonight."

"Maybe you could sleep with me, I mean, in my room?" Ocean suggested.

"I would like that, yes."

Ocean sucked hir bottom lip between hir teeth, hir goatee tickling hir tongue. "Have you, I mean, I find you so attractive."

"Me?" Naveed chuckled. "Here I was thinking what a beauty you are." Leaning forward, he placed a delicate hand on Ocean's knee. "I haven't had any surgeries, if that's what you stopped yourself from asking. Even if I could afford it, it's hard to convince a doctor that gender confirming surgeries are worth the risk when you have fibromyalgia."

Ocean nodded. "I... um... managed to escape any of the surgeries that too often people born with intersex traits are subjected to. Even if I don't look very binary."

Naveed laid his hand on top of Ocean's hand, the reddish brown skin startling even against Ocean's light tan skin.

His touch feels so good. "Do you still want to stay with me?" Ocean swallowed hard, not having meant to get so serious so fast.

"Of course. Our bodies and brains are complex, right?" Naveed smiled. "Here comes Suvi with a plate for one of us."