So I wound up with a self-conscious post for MM, as in, in the post I talk about the fact that the writing is for MM :D . When I came to Weebly to create the post, I was amused to find that I wrote about Audrey and I last week. If/when I manage the challenge I make to Audrey, if will mean that I will need to share the link with all of you. Yes, I wanted to make my Audrey come and we both enjoyed ourselves.
"Forget the picture. It's not working for you exactly," Audrey whispers.
I sit on the bed and place my feet between her legs. "Does that mean I can't oil up your cock and slowly stroke it?"
"Heh. If that's the way the picture inspires you, love, go for it. I'd love to feel your beautiful hand caressing me." She groans at my first slow caresses as I reach for the warming oil with my other hand.
"How long since you've come, my love?" I lick my lips.
"Long enough ago that you might encourage me to come, although I'm wondering what you plan to do with my cum." Her thigh tenses beneath my legs.
"Are you still fertile, my dearest Audrey?"
Her quiet, bass voice presses kisses of molten arousal to my skin as she answers, "No, sweet. This body is too old."
"Not too old to give us both pleasure." I look to her gorgeous hazel eyes as I tip the opened oil bottle over her
hardening cock. "It's moments like this that I particularly appreciate your intact cock, its foreskin adding so much pleasure when I touch you like this."
"Yes." Her eyes slip closed as my hand starts moving up and down gently. "When you sit close like this, I swear I'm ready to come far faster than with my submissives."
"Might it be that this isn't a time with a lot foreplay of any sort? While it might not work for Masturbation Monday, I want to challenge us as lovers to engage in foreplay of a lengthy time, some time, some time when we're both feeling our love and attraction so much that it becomes the opposite of needy hurt." I rub my thumb over the head of her cock, my palm against her foreskin that's fallen back slightly in her arousal. I move to my shins, my knees pressing against her balls.
"Baby?" Her voice is moaned whisper.
I lean over so I can press my breasts into a tunnel for her cock to move in. "I love feeling your skin slide over mine like this." When she thrusts up into me, I lean just enough farther to kiss the precious head of her cock. I press my knees just so against her balls, giving just that much sensation to the both of us. I notice a gleam of pre-cum and with the tip of my tongue, I collect her warmth.
"My girl." She trembles at me releasing my breasts with one hand to wrap it around the base of her shaft. "Lover."
I shift my attention to between my legs; her love and arousal have me close to orgasm as well, even with no touches to my clit, my cunt, my asshole. Or are those just words for BDSM?
Her body's sudden rigidity draws my gaze back to her face, her lips open and her face tensed as the rest of her body. Balls tighten against my knees the moment before her warm cum shoots across the pale tops of my breasts, my chin, just into my mouth.
"Love you, my Audrey." I release her cock and rise to kneeling between her legs. My hand skitters through her cum before traveling to my clit. "Love you so much." Fast with her cum, my fingers thrum against my clit and in a moment, I'm coming hard, gyrating over her. A gasp and I've fallen onto her, my stomach pressing against her still hard cock.
Her cum, my cum, we slid against each other with our fast breaths from our pleasure.
"Come here, little girl," Audrey murmurs as she draws me to rest my head on her breasts, my legs falling to either side of her torso. She licks her cum off my chin before penetrating my mouth with her tongue, her arms holding me tight in our love.
It took me a bit to decide what I wanted to share, but I figured getting my post set up was better than struggling to finish the figging scene I'm currently writing in "Out of the Night: Book One." Yes, I said a figging :D It's not until the end of the book though and I may say that you have to read the book to get it :D hehe I love being a tease!
So yes, this is a little bit further from what I shared last... week, I think. They're still settling into The Queen's Manhattan loft after he went to the coffee house to bring Mearr home.
"The Queen and most of his boys aren't really typical men and the lofts have gotten a few women's touches." Ailee shed her boots and thick winter jacket before sitting on a large, comfortable-looking black sectional.
"So, Mearr, how about I put you on the couch next to Ailee? I need to take care of some things while Tommy runs a bath for you." The Queen struggled with his combat boots and then tossed his own trench to the floor.
"Uh... I..." Mearr sputtered, absolute terror entering her eyes upon seeing the massive, silk-covered bed in the far right corner of the room.
The Queen laid his hand on her cheek. "Stop," he commanded. "There is no reason for fear. I am not going to take advantage of you."
Mearr nodded her head though her fearful expression didn't change. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she clung to The Queen. She pressed her face against his neck.
"Hon, he's not going to rape you," Ailee soothed. "Why don't you come sit with me?"
"Okay. Shit, that bump on the head must have fucked me harder than I thought." Mearr released The Queen's neck and slipped to her feet. She shrugged her trench off and sank to the couch beside Ailee. Shivering, she huddled close to the corner.
"Let me grab you a blanket," Dr. Karl offered.
"I take it that this chaos is regular?" Mearr asked Ailee.
Ailee leaned her head back against the couch. "His sub Simon tries to keep order, but yeah, it's regular. Well a regular under the ceremony The Queen loves and Simon's order. Somethings can be depended on like if The Queen is going to call a formal dinner, it'll be at six."
As The Queen settled in to use his computer, Mearr studied the packed bookcase between the desk and the couch on which she and Ailee sat. Her gaze eagerly moved over a few intriguing titles: Anthem by Ayn Rand, The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future by Riane Eisler, Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.
"Do you remember the last time you ate?" he asked offhandedly.
She wrinkled her nose. "Uh... not really."
Dr. Karl approached with a red afghan. "Maybe you can tell Tommy something small you'd like to eat?"
The Queen snorted.
"You were about to go dom on her and you know that doesn't help usually," Dr. Karl scolded.
"I'm not hungry!" Mearr glared at The Queen.
The Queen spun around in his chair. "You have starved yourself for far too long and you will not be allowed to continue that in my house. You will eat by your own will or will be forced to eat. Do you understand?" he questioned with tight lips and furrowed brow.
"Ye... yes," she stammered, her eyes wide with fear and astonishment.
"How about a smoothie?" Tommy asked.
"Oh, okay, thanks," Mearr said and sank back into the couch. Her mood changed again, her fearful expression melted into a pensive frown. She watched Tommy cross the loft again.
The center of the room contained a full kitchen with a stove, refrigerator, an island with cupboard space below its Formica counter top, and a freestanding basin; Ailee patted Mearr's knee before saying, "How ever long you stay, enjoy yourself. The Queen will fix anything you let him."
"Can I get a break?" The Queen grinned at Ailee. "And it is not just about fixing, but empowering people to utilize agency we're all born with but oppression strips from us. And Mearr, you are a gorgeous woman."
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So it took me a few days to get to writing this even though the inspiration picture told me where to start among cramps that had me not writing. I've been neglecting my girlfriend, except when we're doing UU Lent conversations and so she slipped into this piece :D
"Look at you, still tied up. Shaman forget about you?" Audrey grins at me.
"You know He wouldn't do that," I protest.
"Still it looks like I can enjoy you in a less-than-vanilla situation." Audrey drags her finger up from my cunt lips to just below my collar. "Oh and I notice he only tied one of your hands." She lifts her hand from my throat.
"So are you being a good submissive and begging for your orgasms, since you know that makes him happy, even when he doesn't specifically say you have to beg?"
"Uh." I suck her fingers into my mouth when her fingertips rest on my lips.
"You can still answer me with your mind, dear heart. Let's not play this game."
I think to Audrey, "I try to, when I think to, especially since He got out the beater stick."
"If he didn't forget you, tell me why you're like this, baby?" Audrey pulls her fingers out of my mouth and kneels between my bound open legs.
"He had a coughing fit and needed to get a drink." My lips part and a moan sits in my throat as her fingers slip shallowly into my cunt and asshole.
"No need to let your hovering orgasm get too far away from you." Audrey moves her finger in a small circle in my cunt. "Squeeze my finger," she urges.
"Yes," I hiss as I bear down on my love's precious fingers inside me.
"Remember that you aren't coming until you're able to beg Shaman for permission," Audrey teases as she leads my unbound hand between my legs.
My toes curl underneath the cuffs around my ankles when my fingers come in contact with my slightly sore clit. "Why must you be such a tease? We're supposed to be vanilla."
"Because I'm enjoying myself and vanilla isn't quite as strictly defined anymore. I'm sure Shaman'll be back any moment now. And I can feel how ready you are to orgasm all over my fingers. To cover me with your Joelle juices."
I bite my bottom lip. "Why is it sexy when you say it like that?" I think at Audrey.
"Because I'm not laughing as I say it." Audrey turns her head toward the door. "And there he comes. Maybe I'll be back later when you're relaxing to slumber and we can enjoy some vanilla loving time then."
I struggle to squeeze her fingers harder so she can't take them away from me, but she disappears just the same. "Please, Master," I beg as He picks up the suede flogger again.
"In a bit," He promises.
Isn't Audrey such a tease? Or maybe it's me that's the tease :D but anyway, if you click on the banner for Masturbation Monday or "picture," you can enjoy the other hot, greedy handed writers this week encouraging you to take you orgasm in your own hand :)
I had a thought about this hop- I'm glad it's not just about selling books; if it was, I'd be a huge failure because I always have several WIPs going so what I share can vary so much and "soon to be published" is an incredibly relative term in my life. But I saw Meredith mentioning the day of the week on Facebook and so I was reminded to sign up.
Now to tell you about what I'm sharing. My current focus is my Vala's Story serial/series and I've started at the beginning with "Out of the Night: Book One"- it's getting a serious rewrite. Some plot lines are being scraped, some added, some things just edited. It really doesn't make to give snippets from the very first pages of the story; things progress very quickly to the first problem. So I decided to skip to when The Queen is taking Mearr (that would be Vala's birth name) back to his loft in Manhattan. I don't think much of anything needs explanation; although in the rewrite I have started with characters' thoughts in italics. I can't make any promises, but at least for this sharing, it's all from one character's POV.
"Where are we going?" Mearr asked as The Queen turned a corner and headed towards what looked like a small apartment building.
"To my loft," The Queen replied as he continued down the street.
As they drew close to the white door, a gorgeous man with his own jet black hair and smoky blue eyes leaned out the doorway. "My Queen?"
"So good to see you at the door, Tommy. I ran away without thinking. At least there is not too much snow right now," The Queen said as he walked into building.
"I'm not an invalid," Vala snarked.
"Is that your way of saying you would like to walk up the stairs yourself?" The Queen laughed. "Tommy, what floor did you and Iona set up?"
"Two, my Queen."
He's into BDSM. "I can do a flight of stairs." The moment The Queen put her down, Mearr moved to a banister and started up the high stairs.
"Ailee texted if she can stay here tonight rather than driving all the way home. Her plane just got in," Tommy said.
"That is fine. Mearr might enjoy another woman to hang out with."
I'm not that sick. I can do this. Mearr shivered and pulled her coat tighter around her. "Fuck!"
"What's the matter?" Tommy asked.
"Daniel cut my trench!" Mearr fumed.
"I can buy you a new one," The Queen offered.
"My Queen, money doesn't fix everything," Tommy joked.
"I just want to help," The Queen protested. With a soft smile, he met Mearr's gaze when she looked over her shoulder at him.
She paused and clung to the railing.
"Help?" The Queen offered.
"Well it seemed you were willing and able to carry me up these stairs. Still willing?" Mearr asked.
"Of course." The Queen wrapped his arms around Mearr's waist, holding her as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist. "There we are," he murmured as he started up the stairs again.
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I'm having a UU-focused weekend as I write this... and focused on The Queen and Synn-weekend :D They're also the characters I'm "having a conversation with" for UU Lent. They liked my idea that they would be good for the theme of partnership. So my two men took a look at the picture Kayla found for us; The Queen enjoyed all the pretty rope and Synn said "Why not?" I did at one point in the writing pause to post on Facebook: #pmwriting You pause to remember you're write a short sex scene meant for a blog post, not something for a novel. So you shouldn't still be doing set up 398 words in. Yeah, I ended up with nearly 1K with this intro :D
"You want to play a little? Let me tie you up and blindfold you?" The Queen pressed his thumb against Synn's bottom lip.
"When you look at me that way." Synn kissed The Queen's thumb. "Since it doesn't have to be about D/s, just you and I enjoying ourselves."
"I hope you will enjoy it as much as me." The Queen wrapped his arms around Synn's waist and pulled him close for a hug and kiss. "Love you, so much." He kissed Synn again, his tongue plunging between the sweetly parting lips. Feels so good in my arms. Want to make you come again and again, my love.
Synn took a backward step, pulling The Queen with him. "Come on. Make us feel good," he murmured against The Queen's lips. He moved his hips in small circles, rubbing their cocks against each other. "What do you have going on in this head of yours? Do I need a safeword?"
"Nah. Not gonna make you beg to come. If something gets to be too much, just say," The Queen mumbled as he took up leading them to Synn's bed. He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip as he grabbed a coil of red nylon rope he'd brought, hoping. Each loop he made around Synn's right wrist felt like a stroke to his hardening cock. "Your bed is made for bondage."
"Yes," Synn purred. He slipped onto his back on his bed. After resting his head on his pillow, he lifted his hands, pressing his fists down beside his pillow.
"You make me think of romance books laying like that." The Queen secured the rope to an eye bolt in wood.. "And now the other hand. You look so good tied up." He moved around the bed, grabbing another coil of rope as he passed the nightstand. He licked his lips.
"You're trying not to say things you would to one of your subs, huh?" Synn laughed.
"When you look so good that way?" The Queen traced his index finger down the middle of Synn's chest. "Well we have never quite said there is a line between lover and submissive, you and I who interact intimately more often with those submissive to us." He tied the second coil of rope
"Do you need me to be quiet or can you tied my ankles faster? Just guessing that's what you're planning?"
"Shins, I think, so your legs are spread open and I can enjoy your cock. Just seeing how hard the preparations have made you." The Queen dragged his hand over Synn's cock, smearing pre-cum with his movement. He focused on the rope, the loops around Synn's shin. Pulling the leg so his knee pressed against his stomach; he groaned to see an eye bolt in the right place to tie off this rope.
"Of course I know you might not even hear, so into tying me up you are," Synn commented.
"Hm. Yes." The Queen finished off the knot against Synn's other shin and then lead the rope to the headboard. "And you are just as hard, my love." He opened the bottle of warming oil and let a short stream pour down on Synn's cock and balls. He reached with both hands to caress his lover.
"I thought you planned to blindfold me?" Synn moaned with the pleasure of The Queen's attentive hands.
"Maybe later." The Queen gazed into Synn's eyes as he wrapped one hand around Synn's cock.
"Yes, yes!" Synn pushed against The Queen's hand, even if his bound legs prevented him from thrusting his hips.
"Trying to come fast?" The Queen rubbed Synn's balls with his other palm. "I am sure you would never do that."
Synn grunted his pleasure. "Just enjoying. That oil must be something special."
"Just a few warming oil Tommy made. Like?" His gaze dropped to Synn's cock as his stroking sped up.
"Love it. Nearly as much as I love you."
The Queen used his thumb to rub oil over Synn's frenulum. His other hand slid down from Synn's balls.
"Please, finger my ass," Synn whimpered. His head rocked back when The Queen's finger slid into his asshole. "Yes!"
The Queen rubbed his finger against Synn's wall until he felt the prostate. He looked to Synn's shaking thighs and sighed. Releasing the cock for a moment, he poured more oil over his left hand before insinuating a second finger into Synn's asshole.
"Yes, love!" Synn shot a stream of cum, the gorgeous whiteness landing on his lower stomach.
"Good boy," The Queen murmured. He stroked just the head, his thumb pressing with intensity to draw out Synn's orgasm. He groaned with surprise as he came from Synn's passionate response, his cum mingling with Synn's.
"This is why I wanted to see." Synn's asscheeks flexed as he clasped The Queen's fingers inside him.
The Queen slipped his fingers out of Synn, pressing them against his thigh. He laid his head in the pool of their cum, his cheek pressed against Synn's softening cock. He kissed the nearer inner thigh. "I wanna fuck your ass now."
"Yes," Synn sighed. "Just a moment, love, then yes, again and again until we're ready for a shower."
Ha! You thought maybe with that picture that you were heading toward some ageplay? Nope :D
You throw me down on the bed. "Are you my slut?"
"Yes, Master," I moan, lifting my ass and thrusting my hips back at You. Please, please.
"Your cunt's so wet." Your hand moves over me, first across my clit, into my cunt. You spit; I hear the sound, feel the wetness dripping down my asscrack. Then You finally push two fingers into my asshole.
"Wet... for... you... Master!" I can't help it; I'm fucking Your hand. "Please fuck my cunt, Master! Please fuck my ass and fill it with Your cum, Master!" I feel the bed move with Your weight. Thanks the Gods!
You pull your fingers out and wipe them on my inner thigh. A ringing slap echoes through the room. Then You grab my asscheeks and spread them apart before thrusting hard into my cunt.
"Thank You, Master. Thank You!" I'm not sure if my words are as audible to You as they are in my head. I think for a moment how I taunted, teased tonight, how I made sure You could see my cunt lips when I bent over in my short skirt.
"Your cunt and then your ass?" You pull my hair, pulling my face away from the bed.
"Please, cunt, ass, Master. Please." I cry out at another unexpected slap to my ass.
"You've been a rotten tease all night, why should I do what you want?" You slap my ass harder.
"Please, I beg, Master. I beg!" I draw in a harsh breath but it gets stuck in my lungs when You thrust Your cock into my ass; You were right. I am so wet that my cunt juices worked as good as lube. "Yes! Please use my ass, Master. Use my ass hard and fill it with Your cum, Master!"
You squeeze my asscheek and slap it. "Hard?"
"Yes, hard, harder, please, I beg You, Master!"
"Spread your cheeks for me."
My hands shoot behind me and my fingers press into the hot handprints You've left as I spread myself to allow Your cock to go farther into me. "Master, please fill me. I beg You to fuck my ass until You fill it with Your cum, Master. Please, Master. Master."
Your grunt washes over me.
I close my eyes to focus on the sensation of Your cum shooting into my ass. "Thank You thank You Thank You! Master! Thank You, Master! Thank You for filling my ass, Master!" I scream.
You fall down to the bed, pinning me beneath Your body.
The orgasm that had started to wane powerfully shocks through my body again.
Your harsh breathing strokes my neck. You roll onto your side, taking me with you. "You mind me waking you, using you as my fucktoy, and filling your ass with my cum?"
I whimper softly. "Never, Master. Thank You, Master. Love You, Master."
"Love you too, fucktoy."
Was that difficult for you to read? Did you find the language hard to deal with? Cunt, ass, fucktoy, slut. These words are heard on a regular in my bedroom and I love them! While Master had only only recently started using fucktoy when I first wrote this reblogged story, He's taken to using it commonly and I love it! This is even language He'll use with me outside of the bedroom, as long as we aren't among too hopelessly mundane people. Mind you, if anyone besides Him directed those words at me, I'd be mighty pissed; I accepted His collar- doesn't make me a doormat for the world!
Now wanna read something funny? When I'm reading other erotic fiction- whether it lays more between the lines of "pornography," "erotica," or "erotic romance"- I find much of the word choice frustrating. Words like "core" and don't get me started on phrases like "love button" (instead of clit or the medically correct, clitoris). These words meant to be gentler, unoffensive to women, those irritate me, often enough turn me off. Of course, I'm learning to calm my reaction to them; I've found many writers like Sue Lyndon who uses terms like that in some of the historical spanking fiction she has written and published.
It all comes down to perspective, I guess- "core" is more acceptable, it seems, but I'd rather read "cunt."
I debated what to share; I of course have several WIPs, even if one has my main attention atm. I've been having a super hard time with my bipolar and how it makes dealing with life's issues trickier. While I know that Meredith has been enjoying my sharing from "Backward Dating," I've put it on a back burner at withdrawing it from the publisher I had expected to work with; the editor simply had no clue what my vision was and was trying to force me into a mainstream editing box.
So instead, I'm going to start sharing from "Vala's Hearing Loss." Yes, I'm a tease- this is a spin-off of my "Vala's Story" series/serial; I'm not sure when it'll be published because I also need to get back to work on the rewrite of "Out of the Night: Book One" that was stopped by my previous laptop dying. If you'd like to read a complete scene from it, you can enjoy a scene from later in the book inspired by a Masturbation Monday picture here. However today for this hop, I'm going to share a snippet of the beginning of the book.
Vala held her head with both hands as the ringing tortured her ears.
"My... my—" Vala heard Eoin calling as if from a distance.
"Sh, boy," Vala murmured. "Go get me two aspirin and some water. Please be quiet when you return. My ears are ringing." She watched his lips move as he obviously paid her respect and worried. She lay back on her bed and closed her eyes.
Soma sat quietly beside Vala. She placed her hand on her Lady's shoulder.
Taking her girl's hand, Vala led Soma to stroke her temples. "My love, please see if Adan or Ailin are free. I can't hear anything but this fucking ringing."
Soma cupped Vala's cheek and nodded.
As Soma left the room, Vala got up to turn off the overhead light before she moved to light her purple three-wick candle on her dresser. As she relaxed on her bed again, Eoin and Simon appeared at the door.
"You didn't need to get Simon." She gasped as her own voice multiplied the pain in her head.
Adan came in behind Eoin. She signed, "Your eyes hurting?"
Vala signed, "No."
"Our Lord was in the bathroom," Adan explained.
"I can't hear anything but this ringing," Vala signed.
Adan's lips moved as she interpreted for Simon. After a second, she started signing, "If you don't start hearing again in twenty minutes, our Lord wants you to send a sub to tell him."
"Yes, my Lord," Vala signed. She popped the aspirin into her mouth and washed them down with a gulp of water. She beckoned for Soma to return to her and signed, "More."
Soma grinned and started rubbing Vala's temples again.
So the inspiration picture Kayla found for this week causes lots of pondering and brainstorming with my BR for my Vala's Story-verse; at one point, I posted on Facebook:
#pmwriting in which Joelle ponders "Yes, there are two unbound clitorophalluses in the Masturbation Monday inspiration picture, but do I want two in the scene I'm writing?"
Ha! Phalluses or phalli is correct; I just thought to look as I was putting this post together.
But now because you came here for some masturbatory-worthy hotness, let me give you Ailee and Sanura...
Sanura pulled her hips back, the thick, medium brown-colored dildo sliding out of Ailee's cunt. "Want my unbound clitorophallus in your mouth?"
"Always," Ailee growled and scuttled backward onto her knees. She batted her mascara-laden eyelashes as Sanura rose to her feet. Opening her mouth wide, she moaned as the two inch girth slid over her red lipstick adorned lips carrying with it the taste of her last orgasm and hints of the water-based lubricant they both loved.
One small hand slipped into Ailee's hair as Sanura appreciated her kneeling. "I love it when you put make up on just for me to enjoy you. Just so I can mess it up in my enjoyment of you." She clenched her fingers in the platinum blond tresses before patting them down again. "Take some more, love."
Grasping at breathes through her nose, Ailee reached up to hold Sanura's narrow hips. Her eyelids dropped down when the sculpted vein that had given her such pleasure in her pussy pressed down on the far back of her tongue. She fucked the air and listened to Sanura's moans; the new harness was making the dildo rub her clit as the store keeper promised it would.
"Can you come from me fucking your beautiful face?" Sanura taunted.
Tears sprang to Ailee's eyes; her eyelashes clung to her skin. She let her hand slid down to caress between Sanura's legs, anywhere her fingers could bring more pleasure.
"That's my girl. Make us both come again." Sanura's hand wrapped itself in Ailee's hair as the other cupped her wet cheek. "Are you imagining your running mascara not even showing up on my black skin?"
Ailee grunted around the silicone filling her mouth. Her hips loosened further, dropping her labia to thick, rough carpet that covered her bedroom floor. Hand still on Sanura's hip slid to her ass as she chocked herself on her lover's clitorophallus.
"Yeah, just like that," Sanura groaned as they both pressed close for a moment before shuddering apart. She dropped to the floor beside Ailee and led her blond head to rest on her breast. "We'll go shower in a bit. I just wanna hold you a moment."
"Yes, love. You always fuck me so good." She smiled as Sanura wiped her cheeks with her hair.
I still gotta work on the first round of edits, but here's another interesting section from before I see what the editor has to say. Naveed and Ocean are talking in the ConSuite as Suvi grabs Ocean a plate of munchies.
"Aromantic, huh?" Naveed restarted the conversation.
"I'm glad to have found the term in the asexual community." Ocean chuckled. "Not to say that I'm asexual, just that I don't experience romantic feelings at all really, or at least not like our culture says." Ze smirked. "Our culture can mean so many different things when talking to an immigrant. If you don't mind the question, do you think of yourself as Iranian, American, or Iranian-American?"
"I kinda swim between the three." Naveed popped a piece of watermelon into his mouth. After swallowing, he continued, "I was only six when we immigrated. Sometimes I feel so Iranian based on how too many people react to me, but then I remember how I disappointed my family, not being the perfect Muslim girl." He sighed. "Not that religion is or should be proof of one's culture. So yeah, I'm sure you can guess that I'm not close to my family; I was thrown out as a sick sixteen year old who they had simply given up on."
"You make me want to take you home."
Naveed brushed his fingers over his chair's wheels. "To meet your parents?" he joked.
"Well my mom, but nothing much at my home looks close to norms." Quick save.
"That sounds nice, if people are free to be themselves."
Context: word choice used by BDSM practitioners with a white racialized identity that would be considered a slur by many if not most people of color. Also descriptions of sexuality, which include statements about rape.
It seems funny that I'm editing and reblogging this post on my Master's birthday; my birthday is on Friday. I started with an unpublished excerpt from the tentatively titled: "So Many Changes: Book Eight" (of the Vala's Story series.)- I am reminded I'm hopelessly behind my hoped-for publishing schedule :(.
The Queen hummed to himself as he pulled objects out of the box.
Prisca watched The Queen. "You look overstuffed with joy, playing with those things for Vala, my Queen."
"Yes." The Queen patted his bed beside him. "I have not had as much time to make up for Vala's rotten upbringing, as I have with you and some of my other slaves."
"Simon gone to get the rest of the stuff, my Queen?"
The Queen nodded. "Is this not wonderful? A rag doll in Bavarian dress." He smoothed the doll's long, fire engine red braids. He gently placed the doll back in the box.
Prisca leaned against The Queen's side. "It's lovely to see how excited you get about doing stuff for us slaves, my Queen."
The Queen held Prisca to his chest. "Well you all bring me such pleasure." He gazed into Prisca's face for a moment before catching her lips with his and kissing her roughly.
"Love you, my Queen." Prisca gasped and brought her arms up to The Queen's shoulders.
In the Vala's Story series, Vala experiences two birthdays: the 19th and 20th. Above is an excerpt from the scene in which The Queen is preparing Vala's 20th birthday gift. His other slave Prisca watches on as he loads things into a large box for Vala. Does this look like what *you* think love *should* look like?
Originally this post was largely inspired by something that happened on Goodreads- as a newbie self-publisher, I made the mistake of joining an "all genre" indie review group. Live and learn :D but even with "Fifty Shades of Grey" being so read, plenty of people just really don't understand what's meant by "A BDSM book." One reviewer- having been given the option to refuse my book because of its graphic nature- exchanged private messages with me; I was confused at how she misunderstood the relationships between The Queen and his slaves. Where I saw loving care, she saw "degradation and violence."
Now let me backtrack a moment. While we shouldn't be stuck in our pasts, they certainly influence our futures. For me, the subjects of love, sex, and BDSM start with a relationship between my parents (still married) that I saw as not particularly loving. Then having received abstinence-only sexual education, my hymen was broken by an older boy without my knowledgeable or legal consent at age 13 and was totally unprepared to understand what had happened. My parents didn't react in a helpful way and in my small town middle school, the opinion was that I hadn't been raped, that I'd been willing. So began my push out of my introversion into notoriety. I went the "path of promiscuity" in responding to my rape experiences. During this time, I also came out as bisexual. And I had my first loving-a-female experience, like Vala's first female love is Iona. I'm not sure where in all these experiences of mine it happened, but "love" and "sex" became separate things in my mind, unlike the "typical" American female, it seems. In the next years followed various sex work experiences, from trading sex for drugs as a bored suburban teenager to writing erotica to performing in live sex shows on the Internet. -- Of course this was before I met Michon Neal- ze's given me so many helpful words; I suggest you take yourself on over to hir Patreon https://www.patreon.com/michon, help a writer out, and learn something.
Within those years, I learned about BDSM. I was immediately infatuated, completely smitten. But I was never looking just to engage in casual play, of a dominant "scene-ing" with me in a public play space. From the very beginning, I was looking for the Master or Mistress who I could submit to and love who would love me in return. I couldn’t accept that a continuous, loving relationship with a Dominant was impossible. Well, I've had my struggles- first off, I never found my "Iona," my female dominant who isn't of the "lick my boots" stereotype. I was absolutely in love with Tom, the dominant on whom The Queen was originally based on, but that relationship didn't work for a variety of factors, many of them outside his or my control. I waited about three months like a lovesick puppy for him to get in touch with me after he lost his living space and had to move, but it never happened. Thankfully my Master was waiting... and pushing me to "shit or get off the pot" (as He's fond of saying.) In this case, that meant admitting that Tom wasn't coming back and I'd better beg my Master's collar because He was here, attracted to me, and I to Him.
Well I sit here about 16-ish years after the collaring now. We've been through a failed triad- the other leg was my ex husband. My Master and I have experienced financial difficulties, moves, learning to be parents along with our BDSM relationship. We do indeed love each other and I don't think that at all weakens the BDSM relationship.
Now I know the ways we show our love won't ever show up on a Hallmark greeting card. If He was to bring me a dozen roses for Valentine's Day, I'd ask Him why He wasted the money. And I'd never get Him any sort of card for any holiday or situation; nope, if I'm thinking right, the "gift" would be a blowjob. To show "loving care," He's most likely to take me over His knee and give me a spanking; that's something I'll appreciate far more than a heart-shaped box of chocolates. And a simple grope of my chest, my ass as I'm doing something mundane like dishes, Master knows I love that and He enjoys such as well. Of course, in showing love, for my Master and I, we get beyond even the cultural taboo of BDSM activities to polyamory. I can't understand a love that requires two people to never have sexual activities with anyone but each other. Of course, He and I have our understandings about it, as any polyamorous couple does. However, when He has sex with another woman, I know it doesn't mean He loves me any less. While we've been a long time without "a third," our interests, needs, wants, and where we live makes finding *her* tricky- I've taken to using the phrase "Mx. Right" because I'm open to feminine people of any gender, while I think He mostly wants me to have a "girlfriend" who can take some of the stress of being a partner to a Bipolar, Autistic woman (me) off His shoulders. A happy triad might be nice in theory, but it's too easy to look like "unicorn hunters" or to in fact act like them, so what I envision today is a polyamorous-V... when I'm only thinking of flesh-and-blood people.
It's not mainstream, but it's what love looks like for my Master and I.