I sat down to write this, uninspired by this week's picture, having forgotten the #MasturbationMonday week number, and underwhelmed by the interim minister at the church I formerly was a member of. Wearing a Doors shirt with Jim writhing on the stage, Cheshire Cat *knee* socks [really *thigh* on me], a ruffly skirt, and my black bat chewy necklace, I was ready to see how the interim minister dealt with me; in case you don't know what said job title means, I'll tell you what I did my Master :D "Her job is to fuck things up for a year so they'll be ready for a new settled minister wants to change something."
Enough intro. I realized I hadn't started the 7th principle in the #UUsHaveSex series. Let's let Vala teach Greta [and us] what the principle is.
"I think I saw you once when I snuck into the BDSM club." Vala smirked at Greta.
"Were you a naughty girl?" Greta teased.
"Always." Vala clasped Greta's hand. "Let's drag the blanket over by the pond!" She sniffed the heavy fabric as she lifted it. "Oh, it still smells like The Queen."
"You are so wrong!" Greta laughed. "Let me smell."
"And you aren't wrong?" Vala passed the blanket to Greta and ran ahead to the pond's edge. She dipped her naked toes into the water. "I'm so happy for this warm spring day." Turning to watch Greta, she licked her lips as the beautiful woman sat on the spread blanket. "I'm also glad Iona let me borrow you."
Snorting, Greta lay back. "Like my Lady would say no to you unless it was orgasm denial or edging."
"Would you?" She dropped to the blanket next to Greta and yanked off her sundress.
"Never." Greta traced her fingers over Vala's bottom lip. "At least not when you've given me permission to drop your title." Groaning, she let her finger dip into Vala's sucking mouth. "Might I?"
Vala settled between Greta's legs, ass pressed to freshly shaved cunt. She rested her head in the crook of her loaned girl's shoulder.
A humming bird hovered over one of the pond's lotuses; Vala's gaze moved over it as it seemed to look back at her.
Greta placed her wetted finger between Vala's legs. "Might I ask the last time you came?" She brushed her lips against Vala's ear.
"You just wanna know how hard you'll have to work," Vala challenged.
"Nope." She stroked Vala's labia with index and ring fingers before parting them.
"It wasn't a begged for orgasm," Vala mocked.
"Uh huh." Greta let her finger slip into Vala's cunt.
"What if I just wanted to feel pleasure without orgasm as a goal? Maybe I don't feel worthy of an orgasm outside, if we're going to respect the whole interconnected web of life."
"I believe The Queen would figure out a punishment you don't like for the first part of your statement."
"Before the sun goes behind those clouds, why don't you change my mind of my worth?"
"Yeah. I'll do that."
I swear there'll be more. I've just ran out of emotional stamina to write tonight. Stupid St. John's Wort. Time for bed. For now, you can enjoy this vlog (not sexy, but it includes St. John's Wort babble and writer type stuff about word count. I repeat! Not sexy, so enjoy as a come down after the smoking hotness of the other #MasturbationMonday hoppers :D )
So Kayla, do I win some kind of reward for the times I managed the word "masturbation" in this? I also thought of a *fun* drinking game with the hop, but alas, I have no alcohol in the house :D. I got the majority of this written during my first church service of the day; Audrey approves.
But I thought of Pekka, saw the cum on the cock, and that led me to Audrey. You see, Pekka is a trans man who has had scrotal- and phalloplasty as well as a penis implant so he has erections with his surgically created penis. While I usually treat my transgender characters as their gender with the genital reality- like Audrey is a transgender woman but she has kept her intact penis and she uses it in sexual situations- I decided in this piece to allow their specific realities to shine through in their intimacy. By the way, when he think of "the T," he's thinking about testosterone, which for transgender men is the one hormone they have to take to transition to more masculine.
Pekka clasped his cock.
"My good boy," Audrey murmured. She massaged his balls until his cock grew hard in his hand. "My love."
He pressed the side of his body against her. Huffing his breath, he forced his attention on this moment, his body, his Lady.
Audrey opened a bottle of his favorite warning lube over his cock and let it flow for long moments. Her gaze traveled to his face as she pushed the bottle closed; this eyes met and he groaned deeply. "Are you feeling good?"
"Yes, thanks, my Lady, for your care." He pressed his face against her shoulder.
"You'd tell me if this form of masturbation no longer gave you pleasure?"
"Of course, my Lady," he whimpered.
She brushed her hand over his chest, her fingers digging into the thick chest hair that had thankfully come with the T. "My perfectly gorgeous submissive. I'm so grateful you included me in your quest to balance your masculinity and submission."
"Please keep stroking my chest like that, my Lady," he begged.
"Yes, my boy." She kissed his forehead.
He moaned, his mixed emotions oddly filling the sound. "I don't--" His words caught when her fingers moved over his erect nipple.
"What don't you?"she cooed as her hand slipped down his chest, across his rippling abs to finally tug on his abundant pubic hair.
"Please touch your cock, my Lady. I so want to see you come when my orgasm grows too much for my body to hold back any longer. Please, I beg, my Lady."
"Yes, my boy." She kissed and licked his cheek, ear, lips. Her hand slid off him.
He thrust his hips up as she grasped her cock, her fingers gently pushed back her foreskin. Licking his lips, he gazed at the pre-cum glistening on her glans. "My Lady," he gasped.
"I love hearing your arousal in your voice like that." She grasped the base of his cock beneath his hand before starting to stroke her own cock. "What if I'd said no?"
"I might have cried, my Lady," he rasped.
"Sweet boy. I know you find the most pleasure in mutual masturbation." She grinned.
"Your expression when I finally begged made me want to come right then, my Lady." He stroked his cock faster. With his other hand, he began to pinch his nipples.
"You know you don't have to beg to orgasm when you and I are enjoying time together like this," she purred. "You aren't trying to come at the same time like a romance novel? I don't need no hero like one of those books."
He shuddered against the bed, her words pushing that first small orgasm to burst in his belly. "Yes, yes," he hissed. He gripped the base of his cock to keep the orgasm pulsing in him. "Lady!" Shuddering again, he pressed against her.
"Good thing your writhing turns me on so," she growled as her palm moved over her glans as her ejaculation starting, her cum spraying over his lower body, dripping down the head of his cock.
"Love you love you love you, Lady! My Lady!" He whipped over onto his side and clung to her through the final throbbings of their closely timed orgasms.
"That's my boy. Love my sweet, wonderful boy." She held him tight and rested her chin on his head. "Always so perfect to masturbate with you, my love."
Kissing her neck, he bathed in her embrace.
Click on the picture at top or here to be taken to the inspiration picture and links for the other hoppers taking part in #MasturbationMonday!
I'm still not 100%. I've spent a lot of the day playing with my fidget spinner and working on my American Sign Language (ASL); I'm learning with Lifeprint and just took a break from Lesson 7's sentences to write this. I decided to write a piece of "Two Houses" fresh for the hop in my email creator. So this is really really fresh, not spell checked beyond what my browser offers. I've been thinking on "meeting the [Deaf] parents" after I watched a vlog from the CODA brothers in which one of the guys pulled a prank on then-(hearing)girlfriend when she first met their parents- here's the link for your amusement- they voice over so you don't need to be fluent in ASL to understand. I need to figure out if I can put videos right on these pages or if I need to use my YouTube channel. But to make the B hand shape in the manual alphabet, you basically just hold up your palm.
And the humor- you can tell I haven't been writing- I managed to switch Teal and Bea. Teal is meeting Bea's parents. Alas I'd already signed up for #WipItUpWednesday so the sharing is fixed.
"Okay, so B facing the viewer and then turn the hand so it's facing me, Ma'am?" I signed; I wanted to be ready for "voices off."
"Yes. No Ma'am in front of my parents," Bea signed.
I tensed to keep from visibly shaking when Bea pushed the button; lights flashing in the foyer looked weird, even though I was getting used to them since she had installed them at her doors.
The door swung open to show a tall, gorgeous black woman who could only have been Bea's mother, although. She grabbed Bea with one hand and me with the other before pulling us inside. She wrapped her arms around Teal and they stood still embracing. From behind them, I saw a shorter man joining us.
Breathing in deep, I schooled my mind to see the signs I knew. I tried to think ahead in glossing so my signs flowed, "Hi. Nice to meet you. My name is Teal. Are you Bea's father?"
He signed close to my slower speed, "Hi. I'm Bea's father. My name is George. Come in the kitchen with me."
-He must know they are typically Deaf in their greeting.- I slipped into a wooden chair opposite him at a small circular wooden table.
George pushed a piece of paper and a pencil toward me. On the top line, it read, "Don't worry if your signing isn't very good yet. Plus Daisy and I have heavy accents in our ASL from going to Deaf schools for blacks in the south; it might not look much like what you're learning."
"Thanks," I signed. I picked up the pencil and pondered what i wanted to say.
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Heh, Kayla told me she'd picked a still from the video I'd sent her. I giggle and thought, "Fuck! I better write!" Even though I haven't written in several days because of the shitstorm of stress in my household. Of course, it's pretty easy, since this relates to Audrey; it's seldom she and I have sexual problems in our relationship- if anything, she'll say "I already came in one of my subs today, cuddle?" Since she's 68, I really don't think much if that's what she says. I hope no one gets tired of me managing Audrey into the scene I create from inspiration pictures Kayla so lovingly gives us :D .
I gazed at the computer screen, my signing to Audrey ended. Rogan Shannon's vlog about the overuse of ILY zipped through my head as Audrey held my hands to encourage me to move my computer to my footstool and then led me to the bedroom. "So glad I'm a nudist," I muttered as I relaxed in the middle of the comforter and watched her with my eyes open.
"So you wanna watch, little love?"
"Always wanna watch you." I pulled my teeth over my bottom lip as she placed a gentle kiss on my right toe before climbing on the bed between my spread legs.
She scooped up some half-melted coconut oil from a dish beside my knee. "Gimme that ass." Her grin stroked me as I pulled my legs up and rested my feet flat. She touched my tailbone for a moment before her slippery finger moved up between my asscheeks. As my moans seeped into the silence, her finger eased into my asshole. "That's my girl." Using her other hand, she dripped more oil over the fingers that teased me, prepared me for something.
Halsey's voice appeared in the room and her growl thumped in my clit as the first time she swore in "Heaven in Hiding" washed over me.
"I got a new plug for you." She slipped a second finger into my ass and then spread her fingers further and further apart, stretching me open.
I hissed, "Yes, yes, yes!" I thrust my hips up when her other hand brushed over my labia, fingertips brushing over my clit in turn. "Love!"
Twisting her hand between my legs, her fingers twisting inside me, she met my gaze before her other fingers moved into my cunt. "You're so gorgeous fucking my fingers like this." She eased her fingers out of my ass. "So I thought it would be fun to match the light purple of your hair."
My tongue moving over my dry lips, I watched her trace her long fingers over the shining lavender glass dildo. I scooted my butt closer to her. "Ah!" I gasped when the cold glass pressed against my asshole. Whimpering, I pushed down when her other hand again caressed my lips and clit. The stretch of the dildo had me panting. The initial shock of the cold glass disappeared as it heated against my body.
She leaned over and her mouth replaced her finger on my clit. She sucked, hard, drawing my clit between her lips. Her unspoken words reached my mind, "So hungry. Can you give me a little orgasm even?"
I shuddered, my thighs flexing as my focus fought between not hurting her with my legs and the orgasm bubbling up inside me. "My love." I grabbed her shoulders and held on. I pushed my body down the bed as two fingers slid into my cunt. The pleasure burst in me as her fingers and the dildo moved in me in slow circles. "Please, please," I groaned.
"You don't have to beg, little love, even if it amuses my subs. I love feeling you grasp my fingers as you cum." Her tongue flicked against me before she started sucking again.
The pillow slid beneath my thrashing head. "You? You?"
"Tonight is about you, my sweet." Her mouth slide over my inner thighs as she steadily moved the dildo in and out of my ass. "I love watching your body move, my girl."
My toes especially pressed into the comforter as a hard orgasm unexpectedly overtook me, stealing my breath. I pulled at her shoulders. She came up fast, kissing me hard as her tongue pushed into my mouth. Still fucking my ass with the dildo as her tongue fucked my mouth. I trembled against her. My eyes keened, "Love you. I love you. Coming so hard. Love you." I cupped the back of her neck, the side of my hand pressing into the short naps of hair.
She lowered me back to the pillows, still kissing me. The dildo stilled in my ass. "You like?"
"The new dildo? Love it. Almost as much as I love you. That was the perfect reward for me doing my ASL learning. Can you spend the night with me?"
"Yes, love. Iven's off at work and all my little ones are taking care of themselves tonight."
I kissed her cheek. "Good night, my sweet love. You fucked the sleepies into me."
"I do love doing that."
I was skimming "Two Houses" trying to decide what to share. A "when I edit" thought came into my head and I shared it as a Facebook status :D The status message will be a tease of sorts as I'm continuing with Teal and Gareth's negotiation in my sharing this week...
#amauthor I'm considering "Two Houses" for #WipItUpWednesday and I realized- because of the difficulties of showing ASL, including fingerspelling, in written English, it's going to be difficult if not impossible to use text-to-speech software to help in editing this book.
"I love you." He hugged me around my shoulders. "So we'll manage a sit down when I get back from the business trip on Sunday, but we need to agree on things like will my dominance or Bea's over you supersedes the other when all three of us are together. Of course you'll also need to negotiate privately with just Bea, but what about us?"
"I don't know I could use a title. For you. I mean, I giggle at all title use in erotic romance books." Licking my lips, I tried to read his lack of response for a response.
"How do you feel about kneeling to speak rather than using a title then? I like that idea." He chuckled. "And maybe you naked around the house more often than not."
"But won't taking it out of the bedroom make it less about sex?" I chewed on my bottom lip.
"Maybe, but I don't think so. Dominance doesn't have to be just about sex, although if your comfort is to keep sexual activity in the bedroom, I could order you to go to our bed."
His grin worried me. During our talking, he'd slipped out of his slacks and shirt without me exactly noticing. "I think you should pick a safe word since we haven't played so hard just yet and you might need it especially for things that happen outside of our bedroom."
"Soup," I responded without knowing why. "You didn't say. Would you like you to be important, or maybe more dominant, over Bea?"
"Hm. Don't really have an opinion yet on that. What if she and I usually agree on what's best for you?"
I bit my bottom lip.
Sigh, I didn't wanna miss this week when I missed last, but my daughter made writing tricky. Yeah, she's 18- still a pain. But I was interested finally enough to write and Molly's picture gave me a thought...
I glanced at Molly's picture again. Could I do that? Could I let others see me naked when it's not in the heat (literal or metaphorical) moment of sex? When I'm not even aware of the camera?
My fingers slipped between the labia as I gazed closely at her legs, appreciating, enjoying the tiny hairs on her thighs. I pinched my clit, softly, but growing harder. Her skin looked so soft. Like Audrey Dolly balanced against my shoulder, her stripped tight-looking legs resting on my breast.
I pressed back in my chair. My computer on the footstool, adjusted so the webcam showed from my stomach down to my thighs, my crotch. I didn't like what I saw. Need to shave, rumbled through my head.
You're gorgeous, love, Audrey said before her lips ghosted over my neck.
I adjusted in my chair, my brain acknowledging the feel of her thighs, cock, stomach, back against me. Pressing my head against her delightfully small breasts, I closed my eyes.
That's my girl, you should feel so good, she purred against my earlobe before sucking it between her warm lips.
My finger slipped into my cunt as Audrey's touch and Molly's picture engaged in twin touches.
Still your hand and I'll make love to my sweet girl, Audrey murmured. Her left hand cupped my breast and I shuddered into her warmth. Doesn't that feel good, little love?
I heard the camera snap and part of my thighs appeared on the screen below the minimized browser.
Her hand left my breast to press buttons on my computer; the webcam showed my naked torso and thighs to my knees. My love. My finger curled into me as she started kissing my neck. I saw the echo of Audrey's form around my flesh-and-blood body on the screen.
Go to sleep, my love, and relax into the orgasm I want to give you. Her lips were replaced by nibbling teeth as her words washed over my skin.
But I want to be awake for this pleasure, I argued. I shuddered hard. It didn't matter because I was coming hard against her loving body. The camera snapped repeatedly as the shuddering melted into writhing and I clung to her arm where it rested on my thighs. Love you, sweet Audrey.
Love you, cuddle up. She kissed my forehead, my closed eyelids, my mouth.
The camera snapped one last time. I can't wait to see those tomorrow, I murmured sleepily.
Enjoy the other hot #MasturbationMonday hoppers and the lovely inspiration picture Kayla picked this week here: http://masturbationmonday.kaylalords.com/masturbation-monday-week-154-by-mollysdailykiss/
Oo, sexy! :D You only have two days for the August 16th release of this new book by Juliette Banks.
"I can't keep traipsing three miles every time I want to spank that delectable little behind of yours."
Due for release on August 16, 2017
Publisher: Blushing Books
Genre: Erotic Romance (with BDSM)
NOTE: This book was previously published, under the same title but with a different cover, under the author name of Rachel de Vine.
We were scarcely inside the door before William issued his first command. "Down. On all fours."
His instructions were given in a calm, quiet tone, but I knew that he meant business. I dropped to the floor immediately and waited, head bowed, awaiting further instructions.
"Crawl over to the middle of the room."
I crawled slowly on hands and knees across the room and stopped. For all my submission, I had never felt so powerful and sexually voracious. I heard William go over to the bar and pour himself a drink. I heard the clink of a glass stopper and knew he’d poured a whisky or brandy from one of the decanters on top of the bar. He walked back towards me and stopped a few feet behind me. He stood for perhaps a minute, without moving. I couldn’t see him but I sensed his eyes taking in the curve of my bottom beneath the silk dress.
"Lift up your dress. I want to see you." I shuddered with sexual anticipation and did as he said. I couldn’t resist arching my back and pushing out my bottom as I did so. Again he remained still, looking at me. Again he waited in silence for at least a minute.
"Exquisite." He left me where I was and went over to one of the armchairs and sat down with his drink, and said nothing for a couple of minutes. I was beginning to relax when he again spoke. "Anticipation."
He didn’t continue for a moment and I was unsure if I was expected to respond in some way, or whether this was an instruction of which I was unfamiliar.
"Anticipation is the key. You are anticipating what I might do with you. I’m anticipating the pleasure that awaits us. Our minds are slowly increasing the sexual tension. Don't you agree, Marianne, that anticipation is the key?"
"A man could go to war in defence of a body like yours, you know. You hold most men in the palm of your hand.”
I write erotic romance as both Juliette Banks and Rachel de Vine, and love to write about sensual, romantic and erotic characters who lead interesting lives, and who often have to overcome challenges along the way. I prefer to write erotic romance, rather than straight erotica, because I am essentially a romantic person, but I also like to involve my characters in an exciting life of Dominance and submission at different levels.
I am British, love the rural life and live in a beautiful home in the middle of the rolling English countryside. I also like to travel around the world from time to time, and have visited some beautiful and exciting places on the way. I am forever grateful that I was born in a place and at a time to take advantage of the freedoms and pleasures that are still denied to many people of the world. We must never take such freedom for granted.
LINKS: You'll need to go to her Amazon Author Page to pick up this luscious book "Out of the Darkness"
Amazon Author Page http://amzn.to/2vNL39e
You Tube Channel http://bit.ly/2v2oHUe
Facebook page http://bit.ly/2u33KUE
All Author http://bit.ly/2vczFXJ
Wordpress website http://bit.ly/2u2QP4S
Ah, I didn't quite space even if it was 8pm EST before I realized I hadn't done this. I decided to skip ahead and introduce you a little to Teal's other love, Gareth, and show some of their BDSM negotiations.
Shifting under the comforter, I opened my eyes even though the room was dark when I heard the side door open and then shut.
Moments later, Gareth crept into the bedroom.
"My love?" I murmured.
"You aren't asleep, sweetheart?" Gareth replied.
"About what?" He turned on the small lamp on the nightstand on his side of the bed.
"There's a lot to discuss, isn't there?"
He leaned over to kiss my forehead. "Are you awake enough for this important conversation?"
"Yes, love." I scooted up the bed until I was able to sit beside him.
"Might I start?"
Nodding, I clasped his hand.
"My personal feeling, desire is to keep hers and my sex lives with you separate," he began.
"I agree, but I'd like to ask if that's more about her comfort or yours?" I kissed his knuckles.
"Really both. She's not looking for a male partner of any sort and I can imagine a great platonic friendship with her. Who knows? While it won't be queerplatonic because I'm a cis man and she's a cis woman, maybe it can be like that in form."
"Does that mean she identified as cis?"
"Oh, I assumed." He shook his head. "No, she didn't state that she's cis. That's something for you to ask her in your own time and for me to say that I have no feelings one way or the other on her gender identity."
"I love you so much!" I grinned with the sappiness of my outburst.
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So I *passed the finish line* with Camp Nano on Sunday. Not feeling it. Haven't even said anything directly to my Master, who promised *fun* for me writing because everything feels like shit here. I have a vlog update about the end of Camp as well as some "Two Houses" stuff that's uploading as I write this; link will be here once I have it to give.
I'm going to continue in the first meeting scene, just skipping a little. Bea and Teal are talking while Gareth is off checking the guest room...
Brushing her fingers over my knuckles, Bea asked, "It would seem Gareth's encouraging the flirting; what does that mean for any polyamorous agreements you two have?"
"I... um." I swore I could feel my throat closing with my confused agitation.
"Yes, I find you very attractive, but I would like for you to set the pace."
"Shouldn't I know more ASL first? I mean, what about your parents?" I sputtered.
Arching her eyebrow, Bea asked, "You're not interested in dating my parents, are you?"
"Your first language though."
"If only I wasn't so dizzy," Bea muttered.
"What?" I gasped.
"Finish your soup." Bea slowly got up from her chair. She took small steps toward Gareth when he popped his head into the living room from the back hallway. As she drew close to him, she said something I couldn't hear and then he laughed.
"I will. No, we aren't very vanilla as you may have guessed, but we're not lifestyle either," he replied.
I was torn- interested in the inspiration picture & not. However, needing to get to my [sadly reduced] Camp Nano goal, I thought of a partial scene that is likely to become "epilogue" in my WIP; I figured I should write it after asking my daughter  to look up *masturbation* in ASL for me. :D
Bea signed something.
I signed, "Again please, Ma'am?"
She placed her left index finger against her right wrist; I focused on her hand, figuring she was about to fingerspell. "M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-E." Then she repeated that sign.
"Masturbate how Ma'am?" I signed carefully.
"In our bed," she replied.
I backed off her and the chair. Don't need to help her up. I'm so glad how the surgeries helped. Following after her, I went to our bedroom.
She turned on the overhead light; my gaze was drawn to my pillow that she'd allowed me to add to our bed. She signed, "Lay down in the middle of the bed spread eagle."
"Yes Ma'am," I signed before moving to obey. Once my body was positioned, I looked up to see her watching me. My heart seemed to come into my throat when I saw the small suction cup in her hand.
Climbing onto the bed between my legs, she leaned forward and traced around my clit, its hood with slick fingers. Then she pressed the cup against my genitals and twisted so it sucked me into it.
[Masturbate] is a specific sign with specific variations. She ordered... I brushed my fingers over my labia, around my vaginal opening. The skin tight, the nerves thrumming in me, I dipped my index finger into my cunt. She loves when I spell that word.
She slid beside my leg where she could still see, but gave me greater access to my body. She caressed my calf.
Slipping a second finger into me, her order only giving a slight shape, I tightened my neck so I wouldn't rock my head back away from seeing her beautiful face. How will I beg to come? My muscles tightened as I split my attention between my fingers, the cup, her gaze.
"Good girl," she signed.
My lips parted. I pushed my fingers against the front of my pussy, searching for my G-spot. "Yes," I hissed. Is yes readable on the lips? I thrust my fingers into me, in and out, faster. No way to tell if she was going to edge me, I decided just to obey.
She leaned over and kissed the top of my thigh.
How wonderful it is for her not to deal with dizziness anymore. I met her eyes and shuddered against the bed. Enjoying the heat of my recently spanked ass, I pushed down in the comforter.
She signed, "Orgasm?"
Having to think for a moment so I could do the signs with my left hand instead, I signed, "Please, Ma'am?"
"Need to?" she signed.
She plucked the suction cup off my clit and her fingers mashed against my sensitized nerve cluster.
"Come!" she ordered.
I pushed down on her fingers and my hand. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I yelled.
She clicked her tongue; I gasped. "Thanking in speech?" The signs somehow brought extra emphasis to my mistake.
I yanked my hand out of my pussy and, without wiping my wet hand, signed, "I'm so sorry, Ma'am."
She grabbed my hip and flipped me onto my stomach. Without warning she delivered five sharp slaps to the backs of my thighs.
After a moment of breathing into the pillow beneath my face, I lifted my shoulders just enough to see she had moved up the bed. I eased my face down onto her lap and closed my eyes, feeling the moment.