So possibly with some light editing, I've decided to reblog "Mommy's diary"- a set of posts related to the book "A Master and a Mommy."
In my play during Nanowrimo, I decided to work with age play. As you'll see getting to enjoy more new and reblogged posts on my blog, you'll see how I visit and revisit this fetish. I find it interesting, although it's not a personal fetish of mine; I have a bit of interest, but my Master is actively put off by much of the AP He's seen. For Nanowrimo one year, I decided to take a Master/slave couple to a poly triad by including an age play Mommy. Rather unsure about how I was going to structure this story, I started with the slave Josephine's sentence as the first sentence of the WIP: "Master, can we please find me a Mommy?" Of course, I can never imagine myself uttering this sentence; I definitely don't think the conversation between my Master and I would go anything like what Andrew (that's Master's first name) and Josephine had.But here is a first diary entry from Mara, before she finds Josephine- or will it be the other way around? I won't really know until I get to that part of the story and at the moment, Andrew is enjoying Josephine yet again. Yes, he has a healthy enjoyment of his slave's body.
Dear, sweet diary...
So I'm going to begin as I hope to continue. While the image of Victorian mother isn't interesting to me, I think I do want to reach for something a little more genteel than what many modern mothers seem to me.
Why am I interested in age play? I do like the nurturing role- considering my entire adult life spent in medicine- but I'd like a role that's nurturing while still having a sexual component. I think I can get that from age play with the right woman. Yes, most definitely a woman- not interested in having a little boy. Somewhere between a female/female relationship (especially thinking on stereotypes of lesbian relationships) and the caricature of a Domme (no "Lick my boot, worm!" for me), that's where I want to place myself as a Mommy.
I find when it comes to practicalities like monogamy/polyamory, LDR/offline, the majority of physical attributes, I'm pretty open. Admittedly, I'd love a redhead, whatever shade. And part of me does grow warm at the notion of her being the right height for her face to nestle between my breasts when we're standing close together.
I've written out my profile on that kinky dating site, but in the morning it'll be time to look through some profiles of little girls searching. Do I have a preference on which of three age divisions there seems to be in age play? The two older groups I think; I really don't want the level of responsibility conferred on adult baby Mommies.
It was so nice to take the time pampering myself with the paddle brush tonight, the long, slow strokes as if I was some old-fashioned woman following tradition. I think that's a big part of the picture of an age play Mommy for me, picturing her in her turn taking the time to pamper me by brushing my hair. Although more frequently it's about brushing her, rubbing her back until she falls asleep.
Such a lovely dream that was, to imagine the small, feminine body curled up with mine as we woke in the morning to the birdsong. Strict, stern, soft, loving- these are all things I'll need to learn to balance as I gather the bits of my personality and desire into "Mommy." I hope this being my first experience with age play doesn't hurt my chances of finding someone.
But yes, long hair. That's definitely one want from a little girl.
May luck be with me.
Mara. Soon to be someone's "Mommy"
This post will be updated with the next "diary" post's URL once it's reblogged on this website.
But while you wait, you can enjoy the book itself!
Josephine, a BDSM slave married to her childhood sweetheart Andrew, asks him if she can find herself an ageplay Mommy. With a lovingly written profile, Josephine attracts Mara, who suggests the ageplay nickname Joey and wants to learn about ageplay along with her as Joey's Mommy.
The story unfolds in Josephine/Joey's point of view as she learns more about herself as a Little as well as how to balance those two important, romantic relationships- a Master and a Mommy- and her other interests in life. Her big project is to redecorate a room into the most feminine guestroom that she can; all the while, Andrew enjoys his slave, anchoring her in their love and intense BDSM activity.
Andrew and Mara keep Joey in the dark until Mara comes in through the front door for a visit. Then comes the real test of Joey's ability to balance two roles and two loves.
Barnes and Noble
Oh the dance of genre, sub-genre. "Straight contemporary romance," "spanking fiction," "erotica," "erotic romance," "f/f," "m/f," "m/m," "LGBTQ lit," "BDSM erotica," "historical," "fantasy," "menage," "sci-fi," "Regency." I've seen these words and phrases, sometimes alone, sometimes together, describing some book. Whether they actually fit the book is always debatable to me.
Now many of the words come with assumptions, such as appropriate cover art, words used to describe body parts... The list goes on.
In the process of self-publishing "Out of the Night: Book One," I've pondered these things, probably overmuch. Like my friend Ana, I have a book, I believe in, enjoyed writing, still enjoy reading, but it defies many conventions of "erotic romance," regardless of which sub-genre I consider- it can fit into quite a few. Well "Night" and the other 8 books of "Vala's Story" do.
I do not have a "couple," of whatever mix of genders. I don't even fit in the menage category; one Master and nineteen switches, of varying degrees makes for the occasional couple or menage under my fanciful poly, leather family.
And "fantasy." That's another on. I admit, the scale is immense in The Queen's world. However, my goal has long been to have the scale immense, while keeping the sex and BDSM activities real. The Queen has multiple store rooms, closets for his "toys"; most of my Master's toys are kept in a duffel bag at the bottom of His closet.
Oh, but the best argument is "romance" versus "erotica," with the newer (I don't know how new) contender of "erotic romance." There’s two problems as I see it. I describe graphic sex acts while having characters in romantic (if unorthodox) relationships. I really do think "erotic romance" works best for "Vala's Story," but beyond that, things get tricky. At Loose ID, they have a polyamorous category; I am sure after I've brought out "Vala's Story," I’ll look at submitting something to them. I wonder if books like Vala's would happily belong in both poly and BDSM categories? Because that's where Vala belongs.
So I sent "Backward Dating" to one BR- I still need to touch bases with the wheelchair user who offered to read. I amused myself by creating chapter and giving them names, but not trying for any sort of average word count in them; this is after all my book and if I'm not writing for a more mainstream press, would you expect something mainstream from me? :D That leads me to the announcement of Cuil Press- currently in the creation phase. Cuil Fiction- a term coined by Michon Neal and explained by hir here in a video (and make sure to turn up your volume to hear Michon; ze is quiet)- intersectional, inclusive, mind expanding (those are just some words that come to my mind when I think of Cuil Fiction). This will go through the special to Cuil Press step of "sensitivity editing"- Michon explains the process ze does here. We're hoping this book will be ready for publication by July.
I debated what sort of snippet to share this week, after all I have a polyamorous-v in this story. Arguing that it's more than a matter of semantics, but of identity, having three people engaging in a specific form of non-monogamy has me considering all sorts of things- even "the word menage is getting on my nerves." But I finally decided to go with a snippet of Ocean being a little bit dommy with Naveed on the day they meet.
Naveed pressed his hands against his wheelchair's armrests.
So much pain. I wish I could give him something to smile about. "So I'm the hinge?" Ocean grinned at Naveed.
"It would seem with Suvi being monogamous." Naveed sighed. "Sorry, I'm trying to be less prickly. The only reason I got to come here this year was winning my badge from a website. I'm not even sure where I'm sleeping tonight."
"Maybe you could sleep with me, I mean, in my room?" Ocean suggested.
"I would like that, yes."
Ocean sucked hir bottom lip between hir teeth, hir goatee tickling hir tongue. "Have you, I mean, I find you so attractive."
"Me?" Naveed chuckled. "Here I was thinking what a beauty you are." Leaning forward, he placed a delicate hand on Ocean's knee. "I haven't had any surgeries, if that's what you stopped yourself from asking. Even if I could afford it, it's hard to convince a doctor that gender confirming surgeries are worth the risk when you have fibromyalgia."
Ocean nodded. "I... um... managed to escape any of the surgeries that too often people born with intersex traits are subjected to. Even if I don't look very binary."
Naveed laid his hand on top of Ocean's hand, the reddish brown skin startling even against Ocean's light tan skin.
His touch feels so good. "Do you still want to stay with me?" Ocean swallowed hard, not having meant to get so serious so fast.
"Of course. Our bodies and brains are complex, right?" Naveed smiled. "Here comes Suvi with a plate for one of us."
So after interesting people with my non-normative characters in the hoped-for-July publishing "Backward Dating" last week, I'm going to continue on to chapter 2, where I dip into one of my characters' POVs for the first time this book- in this case, Suvi's. Good news on the book- it's over 70K words.
"So to the Consuite for a snack before the Firefly panel?" Suvi chewed on her bottom lip. Why am I so nervous? "Ocean, you never said about the rest of your day."
"Firefly panel too." Ocean coughed. "Um, Naveed, could I please push your chair to the Consuite?"
"I would love it if you would," Naveed replied.
Ocean took hold of the handles on Naveed's chair and started them down the hallway. "Are you dating?"
Suvi giggled. "And which one of us would you be asking?"
"Um, both of you?" Ocean chuckled. "I swear, I'm aromantic and not usually putting my foot in my mouth so often. I've been celibate since becoming a widow three years ago."
"Somehow I feel like you could put a Tumblr SJW to shame. I'm sorry for your loss." Suvi reached out as if she wanted to touch hir arm, but pulled her hand back to her side.
"Thanks." Ocean offered hir hand to Suvi and smiled when she took it; ze squeezed her hand a moment before returning to pushing Naveed's chair with both hands.
Naveed craned his neck to look back at them. His gaze shyly lowered to Ocean's chin, he said, "I'm sorry too. No one should have to be alone if they don't want it."
Suvi took a sip from a water bottle. "Single and not even looking. Being bisexual and monogamous adds so many unfortunate levels to dating for me."
"Sadly. So much fear for what is non-normative or simply different from one's experience. I know I watch plenty of people shudder just trying to understand what I am, as it's never who I am."
"I hope Naveed and I have done better at the who," Suvi offered.
Ocean nodded. "So my list, as you mentioned some of your identities. I am a person with intersex traits and my gender is intergender. I am pansexual and polyamorous."
"Polyamorous?" Naveed questioned.
"Non-monogamous?" Ocean responded.
"I understand that one. Other than being able to say I'm transgender, I'm not sure what I would say. I'm certainly not dating as who would want to date a crip."
"Aw, it doesn't sound as if you use that in the sort of reclaimed slur sort of way," Suvi murmured.
"I would date you," Ocean broke into the moment. "And you too, Suvi."
I'm so glad that Meredith O'Reilly got WIP It Up Wednesday going again. I'd debated what to share with you all- I have several projects going as usual. Back in October, my laptop died and while my Master was able to buy me a new laptop, I haven't checked yet when the last time I backed up "Laura Learns" (Kink Challenge 2), but I'm hoping that once I finish "Backward Dating" that I can get going with LL again.
So a little explanation- this WIP "Backward Dating" is the level of "experimental" that many of you expect from me. This is not a simple "woman and man date and fall in love" story. I'm going to start with a piece from chapter 1- for I'm trying to carve this story into chapters- that I've attempted to write in 3rd person omniscient- I'm not starting into the 3 MCs' perspectives until chapter 2.
The line for the unisex bathroom moved at a snail's pace; the organizers of the science fiction convention hadn't quite thought out their desire to be inclusive of people whose gendered experience rested outside the binary. Various conversations began and ended as people bonded over feeling not quite included, although no more worse than usual.
Mid-way through the line, a Persian man using a wheelchair smiled at a Greek beauty of indeterminate gender.
With jade green eyes glowing affectionately in a heart-shaped face the color of caramel candies, the beauty said, "Hi. I'm Ocean and my pronouns are ze and hir. And you are?"
"Naveed. My pronouns are he and him." He sighed and patted his black sweat pant-covered legs with a slender, deep red hand. "I'm so glad I lucked into this wheelchair at the Salvation Army. I would never be able to last through these lines without it."
"They really needed to put in some more of these unisex bathrooms, especially in accessible places." Ocean frowned. "I'm guessing you don't know about the other unisex bathroom I've found that's down a few stairs over by the Consuite."
"No, but thanks. I'm actually not paralyzed so if I'm up to it, I'll have a second option."
A diminutive woman with slick, long blond braids and a swishing, satiny red dress turned to face them. Bright blue eyes moved over them with excitement. "Weren't you just both in the 'diversity in science fiction' panel?"
"Yes," Naveed and Ocean said together.
She giggled. "I don't know why I'm waiting in this line, silly cisgender me. My name is Suvi and yes, my pronouns are she and her. Would you both like to go back to my room, use that bathroom, and then catch a bite in the Consuite?"